


Questions

by Flufferdoodle



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Don't Judge, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I just wanted Sans to date another scientist, It's an endearing quirk, Like A Lot A Lot, Reader Has A Name, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader says "Like" a lot, Sans Has it Bad for Reader, Science Nerd Reader, Slow Burn, Zach Devoye is an Asshole, i don't know okay, reader is female, trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2018-11-23 10:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11400885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flufferdoodle/pseuds/Flufferdoodle
Summary: A college student falls into the Underground this time, with their whole life ahead of them. Sans finds himself falling hard.





	1. Don't

Your boyfriend didn’t want you to go on this backpacking trip, so you told him to go off himself and packed your stuff and left the next morning.

Your friends had wanted to reschedule it, but your boyfriend didn’t want you to go, and you needed to get out, so they went with the original plans.

Your parents… well, who knew what they wanted anymore. They probably didn’t even know you were going.

Your sister told you to be careful and didn’t question it.

You understood all of their concerns, and would’ve been more than happy to reschedule if the circumstances had been different, but honestly, you just needed out. So you and your friends, all packed together in Jeremy’s old pick-up, all laughed and joked and didn’t mention that the chance of heavy snow grew with every hour.

Arriving at the base of Mt. Ebott, everyone’s fears dissolved. A breeze stung at your cheeks, and you smiled. The scent of early winter, cold and clear, filled your lungs and you contentedly adjusted your backpack straps. No sign of snow anywhere, yet. Above you, the sky slowly turned from orange and pink to its calming blue, the sun finally having made its way up.

Today just felt perfect. You grinned as your friends packed on their gear and Jeremy fumbled for his truck key, cussing as Lucy teased him, and really, the day could not have started better.

The trail up Mt. Ebott had seen better days. How long ago those days had been you had no idea, but it felt like a miracle each time you pushed through a wall of bushes and found a path on the other side. The end of the day saw you beaten up in all the best ways, your hands and face covered in little nicks, your legs sore from carrying you so far. You ate s’mores, you cracked some jokes, you smiled, and come starlight you pulled out your old astronomy book and star guide, and soon enough you fell asleep, dreamless, tranquil.

Of course, you got separated when the blizzard hit. Midday, you were supposed to rendezvous at a cliff with some fancy tree - plants were Lucy’s specialty,  not yours, you couldn’t name it - and now you couldn’t find it.

Of course, it was _just like you_ , to do the stupid thing and wander off _alone_ while _backpacking_ when it was supposed to _storm._

Of course, you knew you would make it out okay anyways. You found a cave to camp in before the snow fell too hard, and you had some chocolate - the dark kind, not that cheap sugar milk crap - and a few protein bars to keep you going.

You fell asleep that evening, unable to see the stars, wondering when you would make it home.

\---

Waking up among little yellow blossoms, you panicked. This was not Mt. Ebott. This was heaven, perhaps, or maybe you had died, and Lucy had for some godforsaken reason decided that yellow flowers were suitable for your funeral, and now you just woke up before it started and _damn_ everybody was gonna be confused, or maybe your boyfriend had-

“Howdy. I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower!”

Holy heck it had a face.

You gaped.

“Hmmmm. You’re new to the Underground, aren’tcha? Golly, you must be so confused.”

Yeah.

“Someone ought to teach you about how things work down here! I guess little old me will have to do.”

What.

“Here we go!”

Suddenly, you _knew_ you had to be dead. Your body went limp, your chest empty, and yet you still felt everything.

Flowey started speaking again, but in your panic, you couldn’t focus. Little dots suddenly surrounded you, and in your confusion, you stayed still.

They hurt.

Holy hell, they _hurt_.

Pain throughout your entire being - not your body, your _being_ \- exploded, ruptured, boomed.

You couldn’t hear anything Flowey said until “DIE.”

A bit confusing. You thought you were already dead.

Nothing changed.

And then your body felt full and good and right again, and you could breathe, and you heard it - a soft voice, promising kindness, protection, goodness.

You woke up, again, in a bed of scarlet leaves surrounded by pale, lavender stone. A worn path wound forward. Loneliness bit hard, and you couldn’t help but wonder where your friends were. Jeremy would tease you for your dream - Flowey the Flower? - and your tendency to get separated would re-ignite that stupid inside joke.

But this time, you found somewhere cool. Probably. Purple stone sounded like a cool discovery, really, but then again, maybe it was common. Rocks were, amazingly, also not your thing.

You still hadn’t found your thing, which was part of the problem. After switching from aerospace engineering to applied mathematics to a brief, _brief_ stint in art appreciation, and then to business, and finally giving physics another shot, you weren’t quite sure anything was your thing.

Except maybe biology. But biologists didn’t make crap for cash, and working at a cosmetics or shampoo company didn’t sound like fun. But then again. Field biology? Animal intelligence? Killer. Writing grant proposals? Crying over lack of funding? Peer reviews of all your work? Knowing that no matter how much information you gathered, the planet was doomed to die anyways? Bad kind of killer. Flowey the Flower kind of killer, except much less hilarious and somehow more confusing.

You chose not to think about your college debt. At least a couple years had been paid for, before you did that stupid art thing at a different school. You got a partial scholarship back, but…

Your parents thought you were scared of graduating from school and facing the world on your own. You started to think they were onto something.

Not that it mattered, since you got yourself lost on Mt. Ebott with no cell signal in some purple cave with…

“Ribbit. (Hey, are you alright?)”

What.

“Ribbit. (I saw Toriel carry you in earlier, but I was too scared to ask her what was going on.)”

W h a t.

“Ribbit. (Can you understand me?)”

“OH MY WORD YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE CUTEST TALKING FROG I HAVE EVER MET HOW DID YOU LEARN TO SPEAK WHERE DID YOU LEARN ARE YOU SELF AWARE CAN YOU DO M-”

The frog looked a bit taken aback, before slightly offended. “Ribbit. (I’m a Froggit, not a talking frog.”

“HOLY HECK.”

“Ribbit. (Please stop yelling.)”

“CAN I- can I take your picture? And a video of you? I’m sorry. I’m sorry, this is just… really exciting.  Froggit, you say?” You already had your phone out, searching for the camera app and-there. There we go.

“Ribbit. (I suppose. But I was more curious as to if you were alright or not.)” Its wide, knowing eyes studied your face. “Ribbit. (It appears that you have been through quite a bit.)”

“Uh, uh yeah. I have. Like, long day and all that. I should actually probably get going. Um, wanna come with? Like, my friends will _not believe_ I found a tal- a Froggit. They might even not make fun of me for getting lost, even. Well, okay, that’s a long shot, but like, they’ll be impressed, and love you, and I could study you and learn about you and make a point about how important it is that we learn about the world around us and maybe I can make a difference in-”

You stopped.

“Sorry. Just, like, wanna come with?”

“Ribbit. (Your friends are down here too? Human friends?)”

“They’re human, yeah. But I thought we were up, not down. Like, on the mountain?”

The Froggit looked at you, something like pity in its gentle face. “Ribbit. (I am afraid not. We are in the mountain. Toriel is more suited to explain that to you than I am.)”

You blink and rub at your eyes. You still had your snow gloves on, and suddenly aware of how gross and damp your hands were inside, you quickly rip them off and shove them into your backpack.

“Um. Okay. Where can we find Toriel, then?”

“Ribbit. (Her house is that way, but the path is dangerous. Be careful.)”

“Are you gonna come with me?”

“Ribbit. (No, human. Toriel… intimidates me. But I will be around, should you want to talk.)”

The Froggit gazed on silently as you stood up and shed your coat, grimacing at how grimy your shirt felt underneath. You tied the coat sleeves around your waist, and, feeling the weight of your backpack on your shoulders once more, decided to tough out the snowpants rather than stash them away. You studied the path, frowning.

“Um, which way?” you asked after a second, refusing to feel embarrassed. The Froggit pointed. You nodded. “Right. Cool. Thanks!”

Your sludge-filled boots made disgusting squelches as you walked, but you felt that it only fit your current appearance. You feebly tried to keep stock of your environment as to not get lost again and failed. Not much time passed before you found yourself - of course - before a sea of spikes.

You frowned, carefully poking one. It dropped. Huh. You poked the next, and it didn’t. But wait - here was your time to shine, you _remembered_ something. In the last room, the floor pattern was all funny and there was a _sign!_

You excitedly solved the puzzle, ignoring the deep feeling of something being _wrong_ boiling away in your gut. You allowed yourself to bask in pride as you made it past another few puzzles - spikes seemed to be a common theme - and felt an all-too familiar buzz in your pocket. Your hand reached for your phone before you could scold yourself - Phantom Vibration Syndrome? Really? You weren’t that addicted to your phone, were you?

No. You would not give in. You would not check your phone when you _knew_ you didn’t have service.

You took another step forward.

Okay, screw it, you caved in. And guess what, it was actually ringing. Huh.

“Hello?” you answered. Keepin’ it casual.

“Hello, my child. I am sorry to have kept you waiting so long. I fear you did not hear much that I said before you slept. Have you been safe in the Ruins?”

“Who is this?” you asked instead. Way to be assertive. Go you!

“I am Toriel, my child.”

“Oh.” You suddenly felt a lot less assertive, remembering Froggit’s words. “Uh, yeah. It’s been safe here for sure. I mean, there’s like, a lot of spikes and that whole deal going on but I’ve been making my way- oh jeez that’s a ghost - okay but anyways, all’s good.”

“I am… glad to hear it, though it may be safer for you to stay put for now. I can come and get you once I have the groceries.”

You frown. “Nah, it’s good. Don’t worry about me. I’ve been rocking these puzzles. I’ll see ya around, Tori.” Your finger hovered over the end call button.

“If you insist…” she sounded concerned. Dammit! “But I have one more question. Do you prefer cinnamon or butterscotch?”

You paused. “Huh. Never thought about that one, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Man, no preference is such a lame answer… Like, okay, I haven’t had butterscotch in the longest time and actually had this really weird craving for it the other week, but I mean I eat a cinnamon bagel for breakfast basically every day and am like a solid something percent sure that I’d kinda die without it?”

Toriel laughed on the other end of the line. “Understandable.”

“It’s definitely not a no preference,” you assured her. “It’s more like… it depends on the situation. Sometimes butterscotch fits the theme, sometimes cinnamon’s what ya need, you feel?”

“Yes, my child. I will keep that in mind.” Her laugh echoed in your head. “I will see you soon.”

“Bye, Tori.” Another laugh. Click.

You recalled one of your professors sitting down with you, gently informing you that you had to act more professional if you ever wanted a real job. “Interviews,” he had said, “are your first impression and your only impression. They will determine whether or not you get the job. You look great on paper, but if you say ‘like’ a million times throughout the interview, you’re trash.”

You had rolled your eyes at him. “I just like to be myself.”

“Being yourself on day one had me convinced that this class wasn’t for you and I had to have my TA spy on you to see whether or not you were cheating.”

“Not my fault nobody else gets that being smart doesn’t mean you have to have a stick up your bum.”

“Nobody acts like that. Everyone else just… reigns in their emotions more.”

Psh. Screw that attitude. You got some intimidating lady to laugh over the phone.

And now, you decided, you were gonna talk to that ghost. You steeled yourself and stepped forward and- dammit, he had headphones in. He didn’t want to be bothered.

Sighing, you plopped down and leaned against the wall next to him. He’d say something if he wanted to talk.

An hour creeped by, slowly, and you accomplished a grand total of nothing. Your phone betrayed no hint as to how it received Toriel’s call when you could contact literally nobody else, and with its battery already dropping below 30%, you decided you wouldn’t take your chances and put it away.

You turned to the ghost, internally scolded yourself for being rude, and then poked it.

It shot up, startled, and suddenly -

holy god the Flowey thing wasn’t a dream -

your body left you.

The ghost stared at you blankly. “Oh…. sorry. This…. this isn’t too awkward, is it?”

And it cried pain. You got hit once, flinched, and forced yourself to keep going.

But you couldn’t help yourself really. “You can cry pain?”

“....oh…. I guess that would be it…..”

“That’s kind of terrifying, but like, so frickin’ cool! Like, how do you do that?”

“uh…. magic, probably….”

“MAGIC?”

“yeah…. it’s my turn again, now….”

You felt that he just was not feeling up to it. His “turn” passed.

“What’s your name, anyways?”

“Napstablook…”

“Thank goodness. Like, I mean, I loved the last Froggit I met he was a total doll but thinking back on it… Froggit? Frog and it? I mean, I was a bit concerned that you were, like gonna be named Ghostit or something, but instead you got some cool kick-butt name. Be proud.”

“....thanks, human. Means a lot.”

And he disappeared. You kinda missed him.

You pressed onwards, eventually reaching some dusty room filled with cobwebs. You read the sign, decided that nothing needed to actually make sense anyways, and bought a nice cup of spider cider from some spiders.

It tasted like spiders. You gave the rest of it to a Froggit, feeling a tad bit disturbed.

 

\---

 

Toriel turned out to be the comforting voice from the dream that, looking back on it, probably wasn’t actually a dream. You almost cry with relief.

She admits she has no clothes that will fit you - nobody so old had ever fallen down here before - and she would have to make some tomorrow. But for now, she insisted you borrow her three-sizes-too-large gown to sleep in.

You wasted no time in falling asleep, ignoring the irrational fear that your feet, currently sticking out from underneath the too-short blanket, would get eaten by some under-the-bed demon.

 

\---

 

You ate pie for breakfast.

 

\---

 

Life almost made sense before you fell down to the Ruins, you mused, staring down at another cup of spider cider you’d bought. Sure, you were in the middle of some pretty big mistakes, but like, at least you knew you’d find something eventually.

The Ruins kind of had a way of wearing down on all of that. The day you realized that leaving wasn’t a guarantee, you had a bit of a breakdown. You spent that night outside, staring at your astronomy book, wishing you could find fresh air.

The next morning you found two old toys out on your little balcony - a scraggly, frayed old doll ribbon and a too-sharp-for-children toy knife. Both picked at that anxiety, still twisting and turning inside you, and you didn’t hesitate in taking them to Toriel. She gladly took them both. 

Toriel had been amazing. She gave you access to her little library, giving you a respite from the few books stashed in your bag, baked a mean snail pie every night, and did her best to answer your questions about the world. “Magic” or “I’m not sure, but I know someone who does,” didn’t exactly help in most situations, but you appreciated the effort. Especially frustrating were those little star-like orbs floating about. “They’re SAVE stars. Use them,” she advised. “How?” you questioned. She frowned, but you dutifully went out and poked one anyways.

It filled you with fire to do… something. You weren’t sure if you used it correctly or not. You started poking them on a daily basis. You knew she did all she could to address your curiosities.

One question, however, hadn’t gone over too well.

“You had kids come in here before me, right?”

Toriel looked up from her book on snails. “That is correct, my child.”

“Where are they now?”

Toriel sighed and rubbed her eyes. “That is a discussion you are too young for.”

“Excuse me? I’m legally an adult.” You tried your best glower. It didn’t faze her.

“And what is an ‘adult’ to me? I am older than you can comprehend,” she said levelly.

“Not a child, that’s for sure.”

Toriel sighed again. “You are my child, regardless of your age. Now, go to bed. We are going snail hunting tomorrow.”

You went to bed and stared at the ceiling, torn between deep thinking and deep panicking. Where were the kids?

A memory, brief, flitted past your mind. “Don’t go into the basement.”

 

\---

 

Tears glossed over Toriel’s old eyes as she looked past you.

“Why must you leave? You are so safe here,” she pleaded.

You scuffed your foot against the ground, suddenly feeling ashamed. “Why won’t you tell me what happened to those kids?” It would’ve been a good retort if your voice hadn’t shook so much.

Toriel’s mouth quavered. “They left. And they died.”

You frowned. Not what you expected, but okay.

“They were children, though, weren’t they?” you asked. You tried to sound gentle.

“Yes. Twelve, I believe, at the oldest.” She looked so, so hurt. You forced yourself to keep going.

“Toriel, I’m twenty two. I am an adult. I won’t die when left alone, and you have my cell phone number. I’ll be okay.”

She finally met your eyes. Seeing the pain, you almost lowered your gaze, but you knew you mustn’t.

“Why must you go?” she asked again, voice barely a whisper.

You felt a lump in your throat. You reflected, for a moment. Lucy, Jeremy, Tyler. Zach. The student library, dead silent but all too busy the weekend before finals. Your apartment, your fish tank. The backpacking trips. The fresh air. Your life.

“I need to see the stars again,” you said at last. “I have a life on the surface, waiting for me, and I can’t stay down here forever.”

Toriel looked down, resigned. “Of course.”

“So I can go?”

She shook her head. You stiffened.

“I must… you must be able to defend yourself.”

 

\---

 

You burst through the door, still convinced you were on fire, sobbing. The world felt like it was collapsing, your vision blurry, and of course before you sat Flowey.

“Howdy friend! Long time no see!”

You didn’t even spare him a glance before storming out the  next door. His words echoed behind you.

“The rest of the world won’t be so kind as Toriel! Remember, it’s kill or be killed!”

You felt the cold for a brief instant before hurtling yourself at the SAVE star. Beaten and battered, you succumbed to sleep soon after.

 

\---

 

The first time Sans heard about you, it had been from the mysterious voice on the other side of the door, sobbing quietly.

“If a human comes through this door,” she whimpered, “please. Please tell me you’ll protect them.”

He had his suspicions before then, that a human had arrived Underground. Human souls… they changed the atmosphere a bit. Everything felt a tad bit heavier, a tad bit slower. The whole Underground felt like it was holding its breath. It was torture.

Of course, his routine regarding humans, once he finally found them, tended to be pretty straightforward. Let Papyrus “catch” them, then shortcut them straight to Asgore to be dealt with. It seemed as though the king capturing and sealing their soul was the only possible method of ending the time hell.

Those who didn’t hold the kind of Soul needed to break the Barrier were sent by Asgore to Alphys, who’d progress her Determination research until they broke. They’d be sent back to Asgore, and dumped through the Barrier and back onto the surface.

The process was fine. It kept Sans at peace.

So this… did not sound fine.

Sans looked down at the paper in his hand, his scribbly handwriting  staring back up at him. “knock-knock,” read the first line.

He studied the door, listening to the quiet pleas.

“sure thing.”

 


	2. Okay

You felt grateful to have woken up in one piece, but the numbness in your cheeks worried you a tad. It had been dumb luck that you decided to put your coat on, but your legs burned from the freezing damp jeans clinging to them, and you couldn’t feel your left hand. You tried to shake it dry of melted snow, wincing at the sensation, before shoving it into your also-damp pocket. 

Above you , the SAVE star provided feeble light. You reached out and touched it again, relishing the soothing sensation spreading throughout your being. You still felt cold, you still hurt, but… it helped.

Every ounce of your body cried to stay still and rest, but you knew you had to keep moving. Ignoring how hard your teeth chattered and how much your arms shook, you clumsily rose to your feet. The only noise was the harsh howling of wind as you convinced your feet to take one step after another.

Trees grew in an almost unnaturally straight line, the shade drooping over the never-ending blanket of snow. Some part of you wondered how trees, how  _ flowers _ , could grow down here if it really was underneath Mt. Ebott. A larger part of you just wanted to get to safety.

Where was safety?

Hopefully forward.

 

\---

 

When Sans saw your sorry state, he felt guilt nag at the back of his skull - already, he failed to protect you. On the outside, your face burned bright red in the cold, your entire body quivering like a bunny before a wolf. On the inside, your Soul seemed almost ready to crack.

It would be easy, he thought, to hand you over to Asgore now. You were so weak.

He crept up behind you, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hear him. You were older than the other humans who fell down, and much taller. You almost reached his height, but not quite. Damp, coppery brown hair clung to your head and neck, just a tad short of your shoulders. Your bright green coat stood out against the gloomy browns and grays of the forest, while your soaking wet navy plants blended right in.

You looked a mess.

He waited to intervene until you reached the bridge, uncertain of how you had made it even this far. With determination like this, though, you may not even need his protection. That’d be nice.

You reached the bridge, head tilting back as you examines Papyrus’s poorly constructed fence. Sans took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“H u m a n.”

You froze. Heheh, froze, because you’re literally freezing.

“D o n ‘ t  y o u  k n o w  h o w  t o  g r e e t  a  n e w  p a l?  T u r n  a r o u n d  a n d  s h a k e  m y  h a n d.”

You turned, and he forced his smile to stay neutral at the sight of your face. Bloodshot green-gold eyes stood out against your red cheeks, your hair, frozen in places, sticking out in all directions. Fear shone through as your teeth - unnaturally straight and white, he noted - chattered.

You yanked your hand out of your pocket and grabbed his hand anyways.

He laughed at the fart noise. He noticed some of the tension clear from the corners of your eyes.

“heheh. you must be new here,” he said, eyes roaming over your frail figure. “i’m sans. sans the skeleton. good to meet you, human.”

You nodded, trying to smile, teeth clacking too hard for you to say anything in return.

“now, as much as you must be loving this weather, i think my house is a better place for us to chill,” he suggested, winking. You might’ve blushed, he thought, if you weren’t shaking so hard. Home sounded good. He could warm you up and figure out what to do with you until his brother got home.

He had no idea how to confront Papyrus with this, actually, and he knew his brother would be on his way soon.

“c’mon. i know a shortcut.” He led you forward, and in the blink of an eye you were inside his house. You sagged in the warmth, and immediately beelined for the fireplace. Sans followed a moment later, lighting it before wandering back to the couch. He pulled a blanket out from underneath the cushions and threw it your way. Your numb hands caught it, and you gratefully stripped out of your coat.

“need some new pants or somethin’?” Sans asked uncertainly, looking down at your trembling legs.

“Uh, um, yeah. That’d be like, uh, great, actually,” you said, turning to face him. Your voice wasn’t deep or high - some balance between the two.  A tad bit shaky and uncertain, but it felt kind.

Sans shrugged. “i just got shorts, but they’ll do until your pants dry. uh, there’s a shower upstairs too, if you need it.”

You nodded, rising to your feet once more. You awkwardly kicked off your boots, setting them so the opening faced the flames, and slowly made for the staircase. You seemed weak, clinging to the railing as you dragged yourself up.

“last door on the right,” Sans called. He heard it slowly creak open and slam shut. He took a deep breath again, and headed up to his room. All his shorts were the same. He grabbed the pair that looked the cleanest and an old shirt, one that had fallen from the surface, with a cheesy depiction of dancing skeletons. It was a bit small on him, he felt, but it should be alright on you.

He went downstairs, opened the fridge, frowned at the spaghetti and condiments, and returned to the couch.

Papyrus could return at any moment, once he realized Sans was missing. However, with any luck, he’d check the Hotland sentry stations first, which could delay him at least another four hours.

Once Papyrus returned, though, he’d need to do some explaining. He could probably convince the human and Papyrus to be friends, if the human was nice. They seemed kind enough, really, but that’s what he thought about the navy-souled kid that had shown up. The seven year old brat killed Alphys before Sans killed him and got the SAVE to reload.

Of course, Alphys had probably… done some questionable things to the kid’s soul first.

So goes science. Either way, the kid was back on the surface now.

You came back down about fifteen minutes later, wrapped up in a towel. The tips of your fingers looked almost black, and the rest of your skin was a motley of reds, tans and whites. Sans tossed his clothes at you. You didn’t catch them, blushing bright red as you kneeled down to pick them up. You wordlessly disappeared back upstairs.

Your arms were embarrassedly crossed over your chest as you sat on the opposite side of the couch. You curled up under the blanket and pulled out a phone, frowning for a second before clicking it back off.

“So, like, you live here?” you said.

“yeah. me and my brother.”

“Ah. Nice. I have a sister, up on the surface.”

“cool. siblings are neat.”

“Yeah.”

Stifling silence.

“Um, so like, okay just let me know if I’m being rude or something, but like, how do you talk? Do you have vocal cords in there somewhere? Do you have like, guts or something, underneath your jacket? How does this work?”

Sans felt the corners of his mouth quirk upwards.

“magic.”

You rolled your eyes. “Of course. And how does the magic work?”

“i dunno.”

“Riiiight. Okay, are the trees magic too?” you demanded. You could’ve been threatening if you weren’t a blanket burrito.

“why would the trees be magic?”

“Because they’re growing Underground!”

“i can’t be- _ leaf _ you’d find that strange,” Sans said. You struggled not to smile.

“But trees need to perform photosynthesis,” you complained

“photo-what?”

“Uh, I don’t remember the full process. But basically, trees and all other plants turn water and CO2 into glucose and O2, and they need sunlight to do that,” you explained, shrugging. “Do you guys, like, not have school down here?”

Sans paused. “yes, but we study… different things, probably.”

“Makes sense.”

Sans nodded.

“Also, like, how does it snow down here?”

Sans shrugged. “magic.”

“Is  _ everything _ magic down here?”

“it’s what us monsters are made of,” Sans shrugged. “humans don’t have any magic?”

You sat up some, the blanket slipping from your shoulders and pooling in your lap. You awkwardly hugged your chest again. Sans took a moment to study your features, much clearer and calmer now that you were out of the cold.

Humans changed so  _ much _ as they aged. Your face, still clear and open, just seemed more mature. Your body… Kids didn’t curve like that. Now, you didn’t seem too tall for what you were, one of the boys had been taller, he thought, but the way you seemed to just  _ fit _ in your skin… But still, you were youthful, right?

“No. Uh, magic was actually an old explanation for all the things we didn’t understand,” you explained. “Like, in ancient times, the people thought that the sun and stars were all magic, and that the seasons changing were, and like, actually, just any natural phenomenon. They blamed magical deities and people they didn’t like.”

“huh.”

“But then we started using logic to kinda put stuff together and figure things out more, and Bacon came up with the scientific method. Like, some people still believe in like, gods and all that. Well, most people do. I don’t. But we made a ton of discoveries and keep learning more and more about how things in the universe work.”

“universe? kind of a big goal there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Well, the thing is, the entire universe follows the same laws of physics. Matter all has the same properties. Okay, well, actually there’s some anti-matter or dark matter or whatever that we don’t get and kinda does whatever, but like, it totally has laws too that we haven’t found out. But everything follows the same stuff. Like, gravity. And electricity and magnetism and all that.”

Sans studied you for a moment. “everything follows the same laws?” he repeats, raising a browbone. You didn’t even process his question for a moment, gaze instead resting on his apparently very malleable face.

“Yeah. That we know of,” you said.

“like gravity?”

You nodded.

Sans snorts, and suddenly you feel a million times heavier. You feel your body sinking deeper into the couch, and it takes all your strength to raise your arm. You panic, flailing, and roll onto the floor with a too-loud thud.

Sans releases the magic, and you sit up, dazed.

“you following the same laws as everything else right there?” he asked, shit-eating grin in place.

You turn to him, eyes bright, grin splitting your face, fear the last thing in your heart. “ _ You can mess with gravity? _ ”

Suddenly a tad chagrined, Sans shrugged. “yeah. magic.”

“Oh my goodness. Okay. Actually, okay. Can you explain how?”

“magic.” These answers were growing tiresome.

“No, no, like I mean, more than just magic. Like, okay, so the universe can be imagined as fabric, right?”

“um, what?”

“Like, hm.” You frowned. “Okay, well just imagine a bedsheet, okay?”

“this is gonna be a  _ sheet _ -y comparison, isn’t it?”

You laugh. “No, no, I promise, it’ll make sense. Imagining the bedsheet?”

“yes.”

“Okay, now imagine you set, oh, I don’t know, a potato in the sheet. The potato depresses the sheet where you set it, right?”

“yes.”

“So like, if you took a marble and set it on the sheet, it’d roll down to the potato.”

“unless i used gravity magic on it.”

“Forget the magic for now. The marble rolls down to the potato, yeah?”

“sounds like you’re on a  _ roll _ with this explanation now.” He likes how you laugh.

“You bet I am. Well, that whole deal with the potato and marble, that’s how gravity works, basically kinda. Mass is like that potato, causing dips in the universe’s fabric, and it pulls other mass towards it. The more mass, the bigger the dip is, the larger the gravity is.”

“makes sense.”

“Gravity’s effect is proportional to the inverse square of the distance between the two objects in question and the mass of the two objects. So, when you’re using your gravity magic, you must be, like, either moving me closer to some mass that nothing else is close to, just increasing my mass somehow, or like, just dipping the universe fabric somehow or,” you started to panic a bit, realization dawning behind your eyes, “actually okay I felt like I was onto something with this but I actually don’t know and I just-”

Sans grinned and increased your gravity.

“it’s magic, kid.”

“Yeah, but there’s gotta be  _ some _ explanation as to how it works.”

“well, i don’t know of anyone down here who has one.”

“Has anyone been searching for one?”

“‘fraid not.”

The look on your face was almost pathetic. So disappointed, so depressed, so determined.

“you’ll figure it out one day, i’m certain,” Sans offered.

“I thought you said you were Sans,” you said.

Sans laughed, and the two of you turned to the fire.

“so, human. i let you off the hook, letting you come in and all, but my brother’s a human-hunting fanatic,” he said. “he’s a real nice dude, trust me, but he just wants to get into the royal guard. i want you to try and be his friend.”

Silence.

“Okay.”

“okay?”

“I mean, like, I dunno how I’d do that really if he wants to kill me, but like, sure? As long as you don’t let me die or something.”

“oh no. papyrus doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. he’d just want to ‘capture’ you for the king.”

You frowned. “You guys have a dictatorship  _ still? _ Like, I read the books in the ruins, but,  _ still? _ ”

“hey, don’t be such a  _ dick _ about it,” Sans retorted. You blushed at the word. “but asgore’s a good dude. he does his best.” Except he kills children, but hey, Sans wasn’t exactly innocent of that either.

“Huh. Well, anyways, don’t let your brother kill me and I’ll more than happily be his bestie.”

Sans grinned.

 

\---

 

“SANS YOU LAZYBONES, YOU WEREN’T EVEN AT YOUR STATION TODAY WERE YOU?”

You felt pretty certain that you should  _ not _ be touching your frostbitten ears, but you couldn’t help but cover them as the ranting continues.

“DO YOU EVER EVEN TRY TO GET ANY WORK DONE? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE DONE YOU A FAVOR IN GETTING YOU SUCH AN HONORABLE JOB. IT HURTS THAT YOU DO NOT EVEN TRY.”

Ouch. Kicked to the curb.

Sans appeared a moment later. You sunk in between the couch cushions a bit further, rethinking your earlier promise to become Papyrus’s “bestie.” The skeleton loomed at least a foot and a half over his brother, bones huge, face long. He could probably, like, just think about stepping on your neck and you’d be dead.

Jeez.

“hey, paps, i got a ton of work done today.”

“REALLY?”

“yeah. a skele- _ ton _ .”

You tried not to laugh. Papyrus glowered.

“SANS! WHY MUST YOU RUIN MY LIFE WITH INSUFFERABLE PUNS?”

“dunno. but bro, i got so much done. i caught a human.”

Dread sunk into your stomach. No…

“REALLY SANS?” The tone of the conversation flipped immediately. Papyrus didn’t have an ounce of doubt in him despite the previous jest. “DID THEY GET CAUGHT IN ONE OF MY PUZZLES?”

What.

“no, bro. they were in kinda bad shape, so i just brought ‘em here. didn’t think it would be fair to make them struggle when they were already so tired.”

“THE HUMAN IS HERE?” At this, Papyrus seemed to panic. “WHERE? IN THE GARAGE? IS THE BED BIG ENOUGH?”

“heheh. no. she’s right there.” Sans pointed towards the couch.

You ducked as Papyrus bounded over, trying to calm yourself as he peered down. You took a deep breath and lowered your hands from your ears, trying to grin up at him.

“Uh, hi.”

“WOWIE! YOU’RE A REAL HUMAN?”

“Yeah.”

Papyrus looked besides himself with joy. “NYEHEH! NOW THAT I HAVE CAUGHT A HUMAN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!”

You trembled a little bit. “Papyrus, you didn’t catch me,” you said though, trying to find your confidence. “Sans did.”

Sans looked over at you, expression unreadable. Papyrus seemed to consider this for a moment.

“OF COURSE. MY LAZYBONES BROTHER… SANS, GREAT WORK! BUT, IT IS NOT PROPERLY CAPTURED! IT IS LOUNGING IN OUR HOUSE. THAT IS NOT WHAT CAPTURED HUMANS DO.”

“How does it work, then?” you ask, actually curious.

“WELL, AH, HM.” Papyrus sat down next to you. It took every ounce of willpower to not scoot away. “GOOD QUESTION. I AM NOT SURE.”

A stupid skeleton, it seemed. A total simpleton. “So, maybe we can just consider me captured?” you ask.

Papyrus looked over at you. “NO.”

“Why?” You looked over at Sans, who continued to uselessly watch on.

“BECAUSE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MUST BE THE ONE TO CAPTURE YOU. SANS HAS NO INTEREST IN JOINING THE ROYAL GUARD.”

“Well, um, I could just say you captured me, and you could be in?”

“THAT WOULD BE A LIE.”

You shrugged. “Aight.”

The two of you thought on this for a while. Well, you were also wondering what Sans was trying to do, and also when could you get home, and a few other less important things, but still.

“Maybe,” you suggested at last, “you can capture the NEXT human that falls down, and you and I can accept that I can’t be captured by you.”

“NONSENSE. HUMAN, I HAVE A FAR BETTER PLAN. I WILL ENGAGE YOU IN A FIGHT, AND YOU WILL SURRENDER AND BECOME MY PRISONER.”

You looked at Sans, eyes begging for help. He gave you a not-so-reassuring smile, and suddenly you went limp again.

Bones. Everywhere. You panicked, forcing yourself to move, gliding over them. Not one hit.

You almost cried from relief.

“Papyrus, you really don’t need to do this,” you informed him. “You’re a cool dude. Fighting people isn’t cool.”

Papyrus seemed to consider this. “BUT HUMAN,” he said, “BEING IN THE ROYAL GUARD IS COOL. AND TO DO THAT, I MUST CAPTURE YOU.”

You got hit once the second time, and grimaced. You would’ve clutched your chest in pain if you could feel your body at all right then. Sans did nothing.

“I don’t think the Royal Guard sounds cool at all,” you said. Papyrus’s jaw dropped.

“WHAT?”

“What kind of weird club makes skeletons beat up on humans! I mean, look at this! I’m like, half your size, and you have to beat me up? What a bunch of bullies!”

Papyrus fell silent, hanging his head a bit. You got smacked by two bones, but managed to dodge the others. You hurt.

“But you don’t have to join, Papyrus,” you explained. “We could be friends, instead.”

“R-REALLY?” Papyrus asked, excitement returning.

“Yeah! Best friends!”

The next torrent, you thought you were going to die.

“I SUPPOSE… IF THAT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS RIGHT,” Papyrus said, fiddling with his scarf.

“It is,” you gasped out with conviction.

“THEN I WILL SPARE YOU.”

You inhaled deeply, back together with your body. What did they even do to  _ do _ that?

You voiced your question.

“MAGIC.”

Dang it.

“So, like, now that we’re friends, what do you wanna do?” you asked after a moment.

Papyrus beamed. “WELL, UNDYNE AND I ALWAYS COOK SPAGHETTI, AND IT HAS BROUGHT US CLOSE! WE CAN DO THE SAME.”

Cooking was… an ordeal.

College had taught you the basics of making pasta and other cheap foods, but Papyrus clearly had not had such training.

“No! You’re getting water all over the stove,” you panicked, trying to grab the metal spoon Papyrus deemed appropriate for stirring. It burned your fingers, and you yanked your hand back, a bit panicked.

“NONSENSE. THE MORE YOU STIR, THE BETTER IT TASTES!”

You grimaced for a moment before making a tactful retreat to the table, safely out of reach of the splashing water and burning tomato sauce. Sans watched on, amused.

“Why would stirring faster make it tastier?” you wept. “That doesn’t make sense.”

Sans opened his mouth.

“If you say magic I will slap you.”

He closed it.

“so, kid, this dinner’s probably not gonna go so  _ hot _ ,” he said a moment later, nodding towards the now flaming mess on the stove.

“Yeah, I figured.”

“i know a good place we could go instead.”

 

\---

 

The warmth of Grillby’s made it almost possible to forget the frostbitten tips of your fingers and ears, almost possible to forget the chill still lingering in your bones, almost possible to forget the lost feeling curdling in your gut.

You ate the best fries of your entire life as Sans joked around with the other patrons. Many monsters approached you, curious to see an actual human.

But then-

“OhmygoshSansisthatadog”

“come again?” The skeleton set down his ketchup bottle, eyeing the mustard instead.

“Dog. Dog, look. Dog.” You grabbed his sleeves, pointing at the dog in question. Sans studied you, confused.

“yeah? you alright?”

“Can I… Do you think I can pet him? Or is he, like, a totally sentient monster like you guys, and I know that dogs on the surface are like, smart and all, smarter than people give them credit for, but like can I pet him?”

“just ask him.”

“Dog!” you shouted across the bar. The dog looked up, grinned, and bounded over. You didn’t hesitate in pushing your fingers through his soft fur, and he yipped happily. Sans watched as his body stretched under the attention.

The overstimulated dog quickly flew helicopter-style out of Grillby’s as you watched on in amazement.

“How…”

“magic.”

“Shut up.”

“ouch.”

You stared at him, unamused. Sans chuckled.

“so, kid, what’s the plan?”

“Huh?”

Sans shrugged. “tryna escape the underground, right?”

“Oh. Yeah. I mean, I don’t really know. Like, I got a lot to get back to, so kind of a rush, but I feel like this whole living-Underground deal is sort of a one time thing, so kinda wanna see the sights. I dunno how to even leave.”

“probs the barrier behind the castle.” Sans frowned, studying you. You wondered what he saw.

“Huh. I thought that thing needed to be broken?”

“humans can pass through without a problem, usually.”

You picked up a fry, twirling it absently between your fingers. Sans’s eyes dropped to watch the motion.

“Well that’s pretty simple, then,” you said, the corners of your mouth quirking up. “Huh. Well, that’ll be a bit difficult though. I don’t know if anyone will believe me about you guys down here.”

Sans didn’t say anything.

“Like, I mean, I’m assuming people fell down before me, right? Like, Ebott’s not the most popular tourist destination or anything, and the mountain’s pretty boring, barely any good hiking trails or anything like that, but like, I dunno, me and my friend went camping here."

“one usually falls down every few decades,” Sans supplied.

“Kinda weird we’ve never heard about it before, then. Uh, the Underground.”

Sans shrugged. “i can’t claim to know what goes on with them after they make it to the surface.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fair. Alright, well. I already spent like, I don’t even  _ know _ how long in the Ruins, so, I should probably get moving and stop missing school. Unless C term already started, in which case, fuck it, I can miss C term.” You set down the fry in your hands and picked a different one to eat, enjoying the slight crunch. “My friends are probably a wreck looking for me.”

“would make sense.”

“Hey, maybe if they get a search team out here, other people can, like, find the Underground!”

Sans didn’t know quite how to feel about that. Somehow, it seemed futile. The orange-souled kid had been down here for a year before Asgore took his Soul and nobody on the surface had plopped down in an attempt to find her.

Sans sighed, studying you again. Asgore wouldn’t take your Soul - it was the wrong color. But it may take him a few tries to confirm it, nonetheless. His gaze trailed back to your hands. The tips of your fingertips were completely black, a stark contrast against the light tan of the rest of your body. He wondered why.

“I mean, I dunno, though. Like, I don’t know what’s going on up there, do I? No cell service or anything else. Should just keep going.”

“...yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, i've got a number of chapters already written, and, well, scheduling is not my deal, but i'm not going to be able to keep up with daily posts for long so who knows what'll happen


	3. Going, Gone

And you  _ did _ keep going. The next morning, you changed back into your now-dry pants, roughly shoved your feet into your boots, flung on your coat and beamed at him and Papyrus like everything in the world would be perfect.

For you, Sans mused, of course it would be. You would get to leave.

Undyne proved to be a problem, though. Not one that lasted too long, of course - after you loaded your first SAVE, a bundle of childish curiosity and intelligent concern - Sans had ensured that she gave you no more trouble. He wasn’t sure whether it was because of his promise or his hate for timeline magic.

Once you had time to actually explore Waterfall for a while, Sans suspected you would’ve just kept moving. But no. You had shown up at his and Papyrus’s door, your fists raw from banging on it at… 3am.

Papyrus, fully awake, was more than happy to join you in exploring the area. Sans sleepily drug himself along, too. Not like he had anything better to do.

He almost regretted his decision, though. He had  _ time _ to adjust to Papyrus’s boundless energy. More time than anyone in the world had had. Papyrus was his brother; he  _ had _ to be used to it. He loved Papyrus.

You? Almost skipping as you ceaselessly chattered, firing questions off about anything and everything?

He should’ve been prepared, he figured, having talked to you before. You were a grown human, he knew, but damn, not even that little five year old had so many questions about the Underground. Even worse, you had  _ intelligent _ questions. Questions that took time to answer, that couldn’t be brushed off with a simple explanation.

Magic proved to answer only so many things.

You had looked surprised when Papyrus had started explaining. Sans had felt relieved. He knew his brother came across as dimwitted, but really, he was just naive. Papyrus understood the Underground just as well as any other monster. Sure, he wasn’t any genius when it came to the loaded stuff your questions evolved into, but he knew enough. Papyrus, you noted quickly, was a lot better at getting Sans to speak up and fill in the gaps.

It was almost Sans’s normal wake-up time when you reached the Wishing Room. Sans took a moment to steel himself for the questions before following you in, Papyrus happily on his heels.

Shockingly enough, you went silent at the sight. Sans supposed he could understand. Even after all this time down here, this one room still managed to tug at something in his Soul.

You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to find something to say. Sans braced himself.

“I need to show you guys something,” you said at last, your backpack sliding down your arms. “Here. Let’s sit down.” Papyrus cheerfully complimented the neon pink-and-blue design as you unzipped the main pocket. You smiled. Sans absently wondered why your teeth looked so perfect as you pulled out a book, flipping open to a page near the end. You handed it to Papyrus first.

His brother’s eyes widened, and he seemed to choke for a moment.

“IS THIS- IS THIS THE-”

“Yes.” You sounded breathless.

Papyrus remained still for a while, examining, looking a bit comical as his large frame loomed over the tiny book that had seemed so unwieldy in the human’s grip.

Sans didn’t have too much time to think on what the contents could possibly be before Papyrus handed it to him, and Sans stiffened immediately.

The sky. The night sky, filled with stars. The only picture of it he’d ever seen, and…

He felt something stir in his gut.

“Someone looks a bit  _ star _ struck,” you teased. Sans didn’t humor you with a reply. He had never…

He had always thought the sky was black. Black, with little white stars dotting it, but no. No, this was something else. The dark blues and blacks, the orange and white, the-

“Hey, here, let me show you some other stuff,” you said, gently grabbing it from his hands. He let go, and studied you instead.

You  _ lived _ up there. You knew what it was like.

You grinned, flipping to another page, stars - oh god,  _ stars _ \- in your eyes, laughter in your smile, and handed it back.

“That’s a nebula,” you explained. “Can’t see it from, like, just normally staring up or anything. You have to use a telescope, and even then it’s kinda difficult. My… ah, well, I know someone with a really good telescope. But most of these pictures were taken by the Hubble.”

Papyrus looked over Sans’s shoulder, awed.

“WHAT’S THE HUMBLE?” Papyrus asked.

Your smile widened. “Oh, right. Yeah, you wouldn’t know, would you? The Hubble Space Telescope. It’s a satellite we sent up into space I don’t even  _ know _ how long ago. It’s where we’ve gotten most of our information on space for quite a while. It’s above the atmosphere and all that, and has a ton of fancy equipment on it, so it can take better pictures of the sky.”

Sans’s head snapped back up from the book. “above the atmosphere?”

“Yeah! Yeah, we have tons of stuff up there.”

“h-how?”

You shrugged, cheeks reddening a tad. “Uh, lotsa math. Lotsa science. I was actually studying aerospace engineering for a while, before I decided to, um, try something else. But a lot of this is wicked cool. Oh, oh gosh, okay, I know something that’ll blow your mind.”

“let’s hear it.”

“We landed people on the moon in the 1960s.”

Sans had never even seen the moon before.

You laughed.

“YOU ARE PULLING OUR LEGS, HUMAN,” Papyrus stated accusingly. He still looked amazed, though.

“No, no, I’m not! We did. Like, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were the first ever there. Some others followed, afterwards, but they were the first.”

“how, though?” Sans asked again, hating that  _ feeling _ burning deep within his being. He wanted to laugh, to joke, to crack a pun, but…

Your gaze softened as you met his eyes. “Now who’s asking ‘too many questions?’” you teased. “Well, so, it’s called a rocket. The thing we send people up in. Um, so, super dumbed-down explanation is that it’s this huge vehicle, looks like a cylinder with a cone on top and some fins sticking out at the bottom, and it’s built to be as light and durable as possible. It has huge things of fuel on the bottom, enough to shove the whole thing off the ground, and it drops them the higher up it gets to make it lighter. Well, usually, depends on the rocket. I dunno. I never got into rocket stuff, actually, when I was studying- well, anyways, it has some fancy landing stuff, usually like parachutes or something, and it lands on the moon.”

The only thing grounding Sans now was Papyrus’s too-hard grip on his scapula and your soft, smiling face.

 

\---

 

Somehow, Sans found his living room trashed as you, Papyrus and Undyne had a sleepover.

He didn’t even question how you had gotten the bloodthirsty captain to become your friend, but he supposed it was better than the alternative - even if he wouldn’t be getting any peace or quiet for the night.

You had lamented your lack of movies to share, since apparently you had dozens at home, and all of them were allegedly “better than whatever that robot thing’s acting’s supposed to be, but, like, don’t get me wrong it is  _ wicked _ cool that you guys have a legit  _ robot monster oh my gosh _ .”

Your hair now dipped past your shoulders, and you constantly flipped your head around in an attempt to keep it out of your way. Your fingertips - and eartips, Sans noted - were still black, which Sans was still pretty sure was not normal. You had a few more sets of clothes now, which you, of course, stored in Papyrus’s closet.

Sans wasn’t sure how long you’d been down here, in the Underground, but you should’ve been making faster progress than this. He didn’t find himself too bothered by it, though. You had more than just the astronomy book on hand. You had shown him and Papyrus an old comic collection about a boy and a stuffed tiger, (“WHAT AN INTERESTING MONSTER! I’VE NEVER MET ONE LIKE HIM.” “No, Papyrus, that’s not the point. Like, we don’t even have monsters on the surface-” “BUT THAT’S OBVIOUSLY WHAT HE IS!”), a field guide to North American bugs, and some autobiography about a botanist. An eclectic taste, for sure, but one Sans appreciated.

You had taken to his quantum physics books, the ones  _ not _ residing in his joke books, pretty well. The look on your face while you read, so silent, so thoughtful, amused him.

Of course, the time spent quiet with your nose in a book was made up for with twice the normal questions and enthusiasm afterwards. Sans often found himself guilty at his inability to answer. He had so many of those same questions himself.

 

\---

 

Okay, the situation with Alphys and Undyne depressed you.

Sure, romance had never, ever been your forte. Heck, it truly  _ was _ a miracle you even had Zach. (If he was still waiting for you. If you hadn’t been declared dead. If he cared enough.) You always screwed something up, always missed the cues, always said the wrong thing. But Alphys and Undyne had just reached a whole new level of pathetic.

You lived with Alphys for a short while, sharing books with her and helping her sort out her conscience.

Exploring the lab had been difficult to say the least, but you kind of understood. Scientific experimentation done on any living being, no matter what, fell somewhere on the morally gray spectrum, sometimes closer to the deep end than one initially realized.

That did not, however, stop you from puking at the thought of what you found downstairs. You silently prayed that the families would take it okay. But then again, everyone in the Underground seemed overwhelmingly chill. 

But then again  _ again _ , everyone in the Underground seemed to be harboring some giant messed up secret.

Maybe you forgave her so easily just because something -  _ something _ \- finally showed up. Something bad. Something wrong. Everyone else just seemed too calm and content sometimes, and you had been wondering for a while what the catch was.

People said the same thing about you, though, so perhaps you just fit right in.

You weren’t sure what messed up secret you were hiding, though. Your life was pretty relaxed.

But anyways, back to the main point - Alphys and Undyne needed to get it together. Undyne stopped over, what, four times while you were staying over? 

When she first showed up, you had hoped everything had been put behind the two of you with the sleepover and everything else, and, well, it  _ had _ , but now she almost killed you in a fit of jealousy. Alphys had been horrified, and it was only at her insistence that no, you were not hitting on her or making her uncomfortable or doing anything encroaching  _ whatsoever _ that you were allowed to live.

The next time she showed up, she glared at you while you made dinner. You had eaten enough instant noodles in college, thank you very much, and you were gonna make sure Alphys knew what actual pasta tasted like.

After that, Alphys had come up with the grand plan of having you three watch anime together. You and Undyne had to sit next to each other, albeit grudgingly. Alphys left you two alone, frequently, to go “check up on her science.” Undyne not-so-subtly stared at her butt each time she left.

The fourth time, you cornered Undyne and threatened to make a move on Alphys unless she would finally go ask her out on a date. You got your ass kicked for that, sure, but at least you two had a nice heart-to-heart afterwards, and things seemed to finally click onto the right track.

You moved out, and Undyne moved in. Apparently her house had caught on fire. You couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk you shot Undyne’s way when you saw her back at Waterfall.

 

\---

 

You and Sans made a tradition of eating at Grillby’s every Friday. He wasn’t entirely sure how many regular meals you got, just meandering around aimlessly with little gold and even less survival instincts, so he ensured that at least once a week you’d get some real food.

He told himself it was like babysitting at first, where he’d just tolerate whatever chatter you’d throw his way, telling yourself he was here because Papyrus would be sad if you died and because Sans himself didn’t want another LOAD.

But then he started to listen more and more. He grew attuned to your habits - the way you’d just blurt out a question, pause, then list every fact you thought could pertain to the answer; the way you’d drum your fingers against the table and fidget with anything you were handed; the way you’d pick through your food, eating everything in some nonsensical order.

Sans found himself entranced in some of your explanations of surface life, and suddenly he found himself asking questions too. Questions he’d never dreamed could be answered. Questions he had no idea he lacked the context to ask.

As each night teetered to an end, he’d start firing off puns, and you’d laugh and laugh, feebly making a few in response.

You’d then either spend the night or set off somewhere else.

Sans would feel himself smile, and go to bed content.

 

\---

 

Sans couldn’t pinpoint when exactly your constant questions stopped annoying him. He figured it was around the time he realized you wouldn’t stay forever.

 

\---

 

Your friendship with Alphys really shouldn’t have been so surprising. Maybe, on some level, Sans had expected the little dinosaur to force you into some experiments, but the harrowed look in her eyes suggested that maybe she just didn’t have the heart for it now. 

Sans absently wondered what she had been working on recently. It’d been a while since they collaborated.

Either way, Alphys adored you and your books, and you watched her weird anime with her, laughing at the cheesy plot. Alphys looked rather embarrassed at your reaction, but you assured her it was fine, and that you’d get her better shows to watch eventually.

Nobody wanted to ask you how. Each promise you made - “Papyrus, I’ll get you to a real cooking store sometime and we can find you a way better strainer;” “Undyne, we have swimming competitions on the surface! I’ll take you to see one! Heck, maybe one day you could compete!;” “Sans, I’ll show you the stars one day, I promise.”

He always choked, thinking on that last one, hastily made. You had found him nestled into the couch, your book in his lap, him slowly reading page after page. It had been 4am, you were just looking for water having been spending the night on Papyrus’s floor, and he wasn’t supposed to be going through your things.

But nobody asked how. Everyone knew by now that your Soul was the wrong color to break the Barrier, except maybe you. You would just walk through and leave this world forever.

Maybe your memory would disappear. Maybe it’d kill you. Maybe it was like a reset, and you would just pick up at the time where you left off.

Nobody knew.

But everyone let you live in your world of delusional fantasies anyways. No need to break your heart with the sheer amount of unknowns.

Some part of Sans wondered why you hadn’t asked about the Barrier.

 

\---

 

You and Sans sat at his sentry station in Snowdin, covered in relish and mustard after an all-out condiment war. You were still clutching your sides, shaking with laughter and feeling absolutely disgusting while Sans amusedly watched, a lazy grin on his face.

“Why haven’t I met Asgore?” you asked as your laughs died down. Your hair clung to the sides of your head, damp with melted snow and ketchup. You flicked a piece out of your face, nose crinkling in disgust. “Like, isn’t he supposed to be kind of a big deal down here? I’ve met, I swear,  _ literally _ everyone else.”

Sans shrugged. “he’s a busy dude.”

“Yeah but I’ve been here for  _ months _ . Should I visit him? See what’s up?”

Sans frowned and stared at your Soul. Not red. “you could, if you wanted to, but you may not like what you find.”

“Why?”

Sans’s eyes met yours cautiously. He took the time to study each fleck of gold in their green depths, mentally putting together his answer.

“asgore’s only goal is to destroy the barrier.”

“Understandable.”

“you’ve read what it takes?”

“Seven human souls, right?”

“yeah. ever wonder how he  _ gets _ the human souls?”

You fell silent.

“he won’t take yours, though.”

“Why?”

“there are… rules. to which ones he needs. yours doesn’t fit the profile.”

You two sat in solemn silence, not breaking eye contact.

“How many souls does he have so far?”

“six.”

 

\---

 

“I guess I should be leaving soon, shouldn’t I?” Your legs were propped up in Mettaton’s lap, your head resting against Undyne’s shoulder. The TV glowed faintly, its volume cranked all the way down. Papyrus loudly snored on the floor in front of you.

Sans hadn’t remembered his house being this full in a while. He took a moment to appreciate Alphys’s and Undyne’s interlocked hands -  _ finally _ \- and Papyrus’s change of clothes -  _ weird, but good _ \- and last of all  _ you _ .

You hadn’t grown much since showing up in the Underground, but your appearance had certainly grown more haggard. Your had finally grown sick of your hair and chopped it one evening so it now fell unevenly just past your chin. Your legs and arms seemed overgrown with dark hair, and he often saw you disconcertedly picking at it, face red and contorted in displeasure. A couple zits had shown up along your jawline, and a light scar ran down the side of your face. Your fingertips and eartips were still black.

You looked so amazingly alive it hurt.

He grimaced.

“why?”

“I dunno. I guess I gotta go back to the real world at some point, y’know?”

Sans pretended that didn’t hurt. “you don’t think this is real?”

Your face burned bright red. “What? No!” Papyrus stirred, and you suddenly dropped your voice. “No, not at all. No, this is realer than… No. But I just… I got friends up there. Friends who have been worried sick. It’s been at least six months.”

“you got friends down here, too, and we’ll worry just as much.”

Your mouth hung open for a second, and he could almost  _ see _ the gears turning behind your eyes.

“I have a future up there,” you said after a while. “I’m going to school. I’m getting a degree in… physics, probably. I’m going to make a difference in the world.”

“you’ve made a difference in ours already.”

“Yeah, but… It’s not the same. And, if I stay down here, how are you guys gonna get out?”

Sans’s jaw clicked shut, and he turned his gaze to the television.

 

\---

 

You missed home.

You missed Lucy and Jeremy, you missed the sky, you missed the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet every Tuesday on campus. You missed… You missed Zach.

The Underground had been an adventure like none other. The magic, the SAVE stars, the people, the Wishing Room, the Riverman, the puzzles, the drama, the Temmies. You wished you could understand it better, but you knew you couldn’t. Not as you were now.

You had read about the Barrier at the “Librarby.” You knew what Asgore might do, and yet, you somehow knew that wouldn’t happen. He’d let you out.

And you’d be done.

But you couldn’t let go that easily.

You didn’t know how to break the Barrier, if it could be done from the other side, and some part of you was scared to try. But it had to be done. You couldn’t live on knowing that this world existed, so cut off and disconnected.

Fear settled deep in your stomach at the thought of returning after so long. How would you even explain all this, anyways? What would your friends say? Your sister? Zach?

Did you really want to go back to him?

Was he still waiting for you?

You pulled out your phone and stared at it hopelessly. You missed everyone so,  _ so _ much.

So why wouldn’t you leave?

You stared down at the tile floor, trying not to barf as the smell of disinfectant overwhelmed your nose. Alphys had enlisted your help in cleaning up the lab, now that the Amalgamations had left for their own home. She wanted to do new experiments, she said. Clean ones.

Pretty vague claims in your opinion, ones that hinted at a  _ much _ darker history than just the Amalgamations, but whatever. She had asked for your help in finding new research, but you turned her down. You needed to go home, after all.

But you would at least do this for her. Scrub everything down, make it new, create a place where she could be proud of what she accomplished. Her research would be so valuable once the monsters reached the surface.

How would you break the Barrier?

The question nagged at you constantly. You wanted to put it off, to go live your life on the surface some first and then come back to it, but you just couldn’t. The monsters deserved better. You would do this for them. For Toriel.

You had friends and professors who could help, should you find a way to explain it to them. You would just need to find your way back.

A loud clang followed by Alphys screeching echoed from another room, and you abandoned your thoughts to go save her from whatever she just knocked over.

 

\---

 

Sans asked you out to dinner at a place that isn’t Grillby’s and you don’t quite know what to make of it. He seemed a bit aloof asking you, to which you went with a solid “sure, why not,” and now here you were, sitting across from him at a fancy restaurant telling yourself you hadn’t accidentally agreed to a date. Someone stood in the corner, looking a bit panicked, and a couple patrons hung around the front, but other than that it was relatively empty.

You picked at a loose thread in your sweater, feeling underdressed. Then again, Sans sat across from you rocking the usual blue hoodie and gym shorts, so maybe it was okay.

“so. you’re hoping to leave tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“why?”

You avoided meeting his gaze. “You asked me that before.”

Sans sighed. “we care about you a lot, kiddo.”

“I know. That’s why I need to get you guys out.”

“nobody’s done it before.”

“You had nobody but kids down here before. Nobody believes kids when they say they go on magical adventures. They’ll believe me, an adult, who can point them back to the Barrier.”

“who is ‘they?’”

“Uh, my friends. Local authorities. Professors. People who are smart enough to get you guys out.”

Sans’s hand fidgeted against the table. “and what will they do once we’re out?”

“I dunno. You guys got a king. We got… well, we’re in the US, so like, we got our president. Stuff can be worked out.”

“or will we be massacred?”

“Doubt it.” That might’ve been a lie.

“we are safe down here. you are safe down here. please.”

“Toriel’s safe in the Ruins, but that doesn’t mean she’s happy.”

Sans froze for an instant before resuming his normal… anxiousness. “i can’t be happy if i’m dead, kiddo. but i can be if you’re around.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “I have friends on the surface who miss me.”

“you have friends down here who’ll miss you. i’ll miss you.”

“I thought you hated my constant questions?”

“how’ll you answer them up there, though? you don’t have any trees growing without photosynthesis on the surface. be- _ leaf _ me, you can keep learning here.”

“Sans, please.”

Maybe it was your tone of voice, your expression, your avoidance over the past few days, but Sans let it drop.

And then he left, and you weren’t sure you ever felt so alone.

 

\---

 

Sans stared at his ceiling, feeling the weight of the books you’d left him on his ribs as he lay down. Your face from when he first saw you, broken and desperate, seemed ingrained in his eyesockets, right alongside that tortured look you gave him that evening.

You were leaving him. You were leaving everyone. And, regardless of what you claimed, you wouldn’t come back.

He would stay down here with just Papyrus for company until he died. Your energy, your questions, your enthusiasm for life and all of its mysteries - gone.

He still didn’t know what the black bits on your skin were. Now he never would.

Jesus Christ you were so annoying and he should be so  _ glad _ you’re gone but…

Sans rolled over, the books sliding off of him, and refused to think on it any more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't name chapters lol
> 
> Thanks for reading fellas


	4. Love

Sans greeted you as you walked into the golden hall. You nodded once, allowing your eyes to roam over the extravagant windows and pillars instead. All around you, the room shone warmly, a sharp contrast against the cold that settled in.

You looked beautiful, Sans thought, dressed plainly in your old pants and sky blue shirt. Your coat and snowpants were in a bundle under your arm, and your trusty neon backpack sagged off your shoulders. Your hair had grown a bit more, and this time Mettaton had insisted on cutting it. It now fell evenly past your chin, nicely brushed for once. You had grown thinner, Sans lamented, throughout your time here, and much paler. The Underground had no sunlight.

You stepped forward cautiously, the noise echoing, too loud.

Asgore would spare you. Your Soul was the wrong color.

Asgore would let you go. He was too kind.

Asgore would show you the way out. He would try to believe you could help.

Sans watched you SAVE, one last time, and he remembered how you rarely died, how in all your time here you had LOADed only twice, and loved you for it. You made his life move forward.

And now…

“let me go in with you.”

You shook your head. “I can’t.”

“why?”

You grinned at him, eyes shining. “I like this.”

“like what? leaving?”

“No. Knowing that you’re asking questions again.”

“how do you know it’s again?”

You shook your head once more, stepping closer. “You’re so smart, Sans. So curious. I wish I knew why you had let all that go before I came here.”

Sans stared.

“I… I guess I never told you about my friends on the surface, did I?” you asked, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly. “I told you I had friends, and, um, a… a boyfriend, but… I never told you about them, did I?”

“you never said you had a boyfriend.” He felt like someone punched him in his nonexistent gut. He chose not to dwell on why.

“Ah. Yeah. Well, I should’ve. Maybe… you’d understand then. If you knew more about my friends.”

“i do understand.”

“Then why are you here?”

“it doesn’t make me okay with you leaving.”

You force out a laugh. “Why, Sans? I’m not the first human who’s came and left. I’ll be back soon enough. You’ll see.”

Sans wanted to hit something. “and what if you don’t come back? what if you don’t remember? what if you can’t come back? what then?”

You paused for a moment. “I suppose… I will deal with that as it happens.”

Sans shook his head. “no.  _ no _ . you can stay here. you have a home here.”

“I have a home up  _ there _ . Sans, please, don’t make this more difficult.”

You brushed past him , straight into the throne room, slamming the door shut behind you.

He still didn’t know why your fingertips and ears were black.

 

\---

 

Asgore had stared down at you solemnly before shaking his head.

“Not red,” he mumbled.

You almost asked what that meant, but then thought better of it. “Uh, hi.”

“Hello, child. I suppose you have come to go home?”

“Yeah. Yeah, um.” You grimaced at your own awkwardness. And to think, just moments ago, you had seemed so suave and put together facing Sans.

“Of course. Your family must be missing you.” Asgore sighed, and you took a moment to appreciate just how  _ big _ he was. You felt tiny, insignificant, underneath his furry, towering frame. “Alright, well I will not keep you here any longer. Just through here is the Barrier. You should be able to walk through.”

You tried to smile at him. He tried to smile back.

“I’m gonna bring help,” you blurted. “I’m gonna get you guys out.”

The corners of Asgore’s mouth drooped. “Of course you will, child.”

“Yeah.”

A tense awkwardness settled between you both, and you offered a mock salute before you walked past him and into the light.

 

\---

 

Sans stared at the ceiling of the Wishing Room, a thousand thoughts floating in his mind, none of them receiving acknowledgement.

An image of your face, smiling, floated idly through his skull.

You had a boyfriend. You had a life on the surface. You left to go live it.

Huh.

 

\---

 

You stepped out into the most beautiful day you had ever seen. The sunlight embraced you as you stepped forward, and a gust of air -  _ fresh air _ \- ruffled your hair. All around you, you could feel life. Birds and bugs screeched and sang as grass grew beneath you, golden and green for as far as the eye could see.

You didn’t think about your friends, above ground or below. You didn’t think about anything for a moment, and instead you just allowed yourself to exist. You felt alive. You felt good.

It took an hour for you to gather your bearings before you pulled out your phone. You snapped some pictures of the Barrier, still glowing behind you, and of your surroundings. You laughed.

You called Lucy.

She cried.

Four hours later, you found yourself embraced by her and Jeremy and Tyler, Zach standing off to the side, expression unreadable.

You’d been gone seven months.

You cried.

“I have- I have  _ so much _ to tell you,” you wailed, pulling Lucy closer. “The…” You turned around. “The Barrier…”

For a brief, terrifying instant, you thought it disappeared, leaving behind nothing but dirt. But then you stepped closer, and it shone. Your friends gaped.

“There’s…” You swallowed and rubbed at your eyes. “There’s a whole ‘nother world down there. I… I can free them. We need to free them.”

 

\---

 

You drove back to your old apartment with Zach, neither of you saying a word. You had called your sister before getting into his gray hatchback, and she promised to visit tomorrow, hysterical at the news you had returned. As you were talking to her, she booked a plane ticket to fly out.

You loved her for it.

You reached home and dumped your backpack in the living room, ignoring Zach’s slight grimace, and walked into the kitchen, ready for some real food.

The fridge was full of yogurt, cheese, and salsa.

You closed it.

“Uh, we need to go shopping,” you said, and some part of your mind mocked you. First words you say to your boyfriend after returning home? Uh, we need to go shopping. Good one. Great one.

“I… wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” Zach said. “Yeah. We can go tomorrow.” You frowned at him a bit.

“This… this isn’t really soon, Zach,” you pointed out.

“That’s, uh, not what I meant to say. I just…”

“Did you wait for me?”

He stared at you, face stony. His black hair was shorter than you remembered, his face a bit tanner, but his dark brown eyes remained the same. “What do you think? You were gone for seven months. I had no clue what happened to you.”

You felt like someone just punched you in the gut. “I… I didn’t mean to.”

“Doesn’t matter if you meant to or not. Either way, I… I broke up with her. Last week, actually. She was a bit of a bitch. Glad you’re back.”

You rubbed at the back of your neck. “Yeah.”

“Anyways, you can take care of the missing person crud with your sister tomorrow. I have to work.”

“Yeah-h.”

The two of you awkwardly stared at the fridge for a moment. All the magnets you’d collected were gone.

Zach let out a low laugh and opened his arms. “Oh, c’mere, I missed you.” You found yourself pulled tightly against his chest, his chin resting on top of your head. You smiled a bit. “You must’ve been through a lot,” he muttered, and just like that, any concerns you had were forgotten. He leaned down and kissed one cheek, then the other as you giggled, before he finally pecked your lips.

“Bed?” he asked, voice low.

“Uh, not right now, still kinda tired,” you whispered, cupping his cheek.

He rolled his eyes. “C’mon, it’s been seven months. Surely you must have missed me.” He continued peppering your face with tiny kisses, his hands dropping down to the hem of your shirt. “Real quick?”

“I…” His hand brushed past your stomach, and you felt your face heat up. “N-not yet.”

“You sure? I missed you.”

“Ye-yeah.”

You found yourself pressed against the wall, wrists pinned under one of his hands while the other massaged your breast.

“Positive?” he growled, mouth pressed against your neck. You didn’t say anything. You felt him smirk. “Well, that settles that then. C’mon, let’s go.”

 

\---

 

You woke up the next morning, alone and ashamed, a bright purple bruise decorating your neck. A quick check of the bathroom found all your old makeup had disappeared, and your old bedroom lacked all your old clothes.

You called Lucy.

“Hey, how’s it going?” her high voice sang through the phone. “God, I’m so glad you’re back. We were so worried.”

“I know, you told me, what, thirty times on the way back?” you teased. “Well, anyways, I dunno if you can help or not, but… I think Zach got rid of all my old clothes. And also my makeup. And, like, everything that was mine.”

“That motherfucker!” Oh no. You pissed off Lucy. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Uh, well in all fairness, I was gone for, like, seven months.”

“Jesus Christ! My grandma died two years ago and we  _ still _ have all her shit!”

“I think that’s different… But, like… could I borrow some clothes or something?”

“Of fucking course. And when you guys come down to the police station, I’m gonna give that fucking asshole what he deserves.”

“Uh, Zach’s not coming. He has work.”

“I had work too! But I took the goddamn morning off!” You winced. “You know why? Because my goddamn best friend just came back after seven months of being thought  _ dead _ and I thought it was worth it to at least help her get her legal shit sorted out! Because I fucking care!”

“I… well, yeah. Lucy, I appreciate it. Just don’t worry about Zach.”

“Don’t worry about him? He’s the goddamned reason any of this happened!”

“Lucy…”

“Fine. I’ll be over in ten. You feelin’ casual today?”

“Yeah. T-shirt and jeans is fine. Also, uh, concealer.”

“Coolioseph. See you soon.”

 

\---

 

Sans flipped through the insect field guide again, thoughts on you. You had found such beauty in these creatures, rattling on and on about their uncanny intelligence, about their machine-like builds. They terrified you, you had said. You didn’t know if they had emotions or not, but they were so capable of so many things, and so invisible.

He wondered how you were doing on the surface. He wondered if you remembered. He tried to not hope he’d see you again, as he heard Papyrus sniffle on his fourth reread of “The Essential Calvin and Hobbes.”

He tried to ignore the fact he missed you. He never missed any of the other humans - none of the others had been so full of life, so full of personality.

He missed your godawful speech patterns, overusing “like,” filling spaces with “uh,” randomly dropping off sentences and picking old ones up. He missed your inability to stay focused, how your mind always reeled through dozens of things altogether, randomly picking out one or two to blurt out in conversation. He missed your questions.

Papyrus had been quick to note the change he’d undergone during your time in the Underground, and ever quicker to point out the second change after you’d left. He found himself spending hours upon hours in the Wishing Room with your astronomy book, spending every wish he thought he had praying to see you again.

Those words his last day still echoed in his mind. Your hope that you’d see them all again, that you’d  _ free _ them, that you needed to do this…

You had a boyfriend.

Something about that just didn’t sit right with Sans. He tried not to dwell on why.

 

\---

 

Lucy looked pretty unamused when she saw your neck, but refrained from commenting. She offered you a reassuring smile before you left to change.

“We’ll meet my sister at the station,” you said, stepping out of the bathroom. Lucy’s clothes fit a bit tighter than you were used to, but it was nice to wear something clean nonetheless. All your clothes from the Underground were grimy and dirty, still shoved somewhere in your backpack.

“Sounds good! I also have some of your old hiking clothes at my apartment, too, if you want them back.” Lucy graciously held the door open for you. “Also, if that shitbag threw out your magnet collection too, you can have some of mine.” You grinned.

The two of you had held that tradition since your freshman year of high school. Everywhere you visited, you bought the cheesiest, dumbest, most tourist-y magnet you two could find to stick on your fridge. Over the years, you had collected dozens from different cities, states and airports. You had been rather proud of your tacky collection, and Lucy of hers.

“I couldn’t take yours,” you said, shaking your head. “I’ll just have to start over.”

“Fuck, I can’t believe he’d actually do that, though,” Lucy said, fishing for her car keys. Her blonde curls bounced as she looked back up at you. “Like, we all knew he was an asshole-”

“He’s not.”

“Oh, shut up. He so is. You could do so much better. But anyways, I dunno, let’s just get rolling.”

The police station was… a debacle, to say the least. Seeing your sister, Ava, really was the only upside of the ordeal. After about two hours of confirming your identity and resolving all the reports, you were dead tired, but the three of you went out to lunch anyways.

“You’ll have to contact your college, too,” your sister informed you, not even looking at the menu. “I already told mom and dad, in case you still aren’t talking to them. We can take you to the DMV right after this.”

You nod. “Alright. Also need to contact Professor Hugill.”

“‘Bout what, again?”

“Uh, the Barrier stuff. Where I went missing.”

Ava squinted at you for a moment, blue-green eyes suspicious. “Yeah. Can you explain that again?” You looked to Lucy for help, but she seemed just as eager for an explanation.

“It’s, ah, difficult to explain. Basically, there’s this underground thing that’s behind some sort of Barrier that I was stuck in.”

“For seven months?”

“Yeah.”

“How… how’d you survive?”

You shrugged. “It’s kind of like a whole ‘nother world down there. Plenty to eat and drink safely.”

You were momentarily saved from further questioning by the waiter. Your sister, of course, got a salad. Lucy ordered the daily special (some sort of fish and cheese pasta) and you got a solid taco combo. It’d been too long since you had a real taco.

You stared at the tile table until the waiter left, mentally tracing the different painted designs. The lights were a bit too bright in here, you thought, with too few windows. A kid screamed at the table behind you.

“What was it like, then?” your sister demanded.

“Ava, I can’t explain. Once the Barriers come down I can show you, okay?”

“What do you  _ mean _ you can’t explain? What’s so difficult about it?”

“You’ll see!”

Lucy quickly redirected the conversation to the recent weather and when you’d go clothes shopping. You silently thanked her.

 

\---

 

A week passed before you returned to the Barrier, this time with Professor Hugill, a couple of his colleagues, and Jeremy in tow. Some part of you almost cried with relief knowing it was still there, that seven months of your life really  _ hadn’t _ been some weird dream.

Hugill, of course, was the first to approach it.

“Is it safe to touch?” he asked. He looked weird, out of his professional clothes and in a simple t-shirt and shorts, but formal and to-the-point nonetheless.

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, I walked through it twice, so…”

“And how do we know you suffered no adverse effects?”

This was gonna be a long day.

 

\---

 

Lucy threw her feet up in Jeremy’s lap, pissed as always. Her boyfriend stared blankly at the nature documentary on television, too accustomed to her presence. His dark skin seemed to almost blend in with their old leather couch, making his neon t-shirt stand out even more. Lucy had long stopped questioning his taste in clothes.

“Zach threw out everything,” she snapped. Jeremy tore his dark eyes away to meet her blue ones. “All her stuff. All of it.”

“Sounds like him,” Jeremy said neutrally.

“That fucking prick! I’m 99% sure he cheated on her too, while she was gone. Like, what the fuck? She wasn’t declared dead! We knew she was out there somewhere?”

Jeremy sighed, shaking his head. “I know, Luce. He’s not a good guy.”

“Why is she still staying with him?”

“Where else would she go?”

“With… with her sister! On her own! Hell, even with us, for like, a while!”

“Where would she sleep?”

“This couch is perfectly comfortable!” Oh no. Lucy’s lower lip started to quiver.

Jeremy shrugged. “I suppose. But this is no permanent home for her. Zach’s place is as good as any.”

“It’s not even his place! She paid over half the rent. Like, you know that, right?”

Jeremy studied her quizzically. “Wait. I mean, I’m sure you’re right, but, how’d he cover it since she left?”

“Hell if I know! And, I don’t know Jeremy, but she seems to be hiding something. Something went on during her seven month leave that she’s just not talking about. Ava was grilling her on it earlier, but she just wouldn’t open up.”

“I went to that Barrier thing where we found her today. It’s all definitely mysterious,” Jeremy agreed. “Research is starting on it basically immediately. Government got involved and everything. She’ll be interviewed in the next week.”

“Good. Maybe she’ll open up to me after then. I’m her best friend, after all.”

“‘Course, Luce.”

 

\---

 

Your - no,  _ Zach’s _ \- apartment only had one bedroom, a cramped kitchen, and a decent living room with a too-big bathroom. The kitchen walls were the ugliest shade of orange you could imagine, and the living room TV took five minutes to turn on or off. The bedroom used to look… girlier, you suppose, with a few stuffed animals decorating the corners.

Knowing that Sparkle, the stuffed puppy you had since you were three, now lived in a landfill hurt your heart in a special kind of way.

Zach really had kept nothing of yours, and he didn’t even offer to give anything to your friends for safekeeping or to remember you by. Your chest ached every time you thought about it.

He was amorous as ever, unable to keep his hands off you whenever you two were alone. But even now, conversations were few and far between, and he started demanding rent a week after you moved in.

The relief you felt checking your bank account to discover your sister, who co signed onto it, hadn’t touched a dime was almost enough to offset the crushing disappointment of living somewhere you felt you didn’t belong.

But at least you had the money to pay rent, and, as sick as it made you feel, there was a lot of potential profit in this whole Barrier business.

 

\---

 

Sans wondered how long you and your boyfriend had been together. He wondered if your boyfriend knew why the tips of your fingers and ears were black.

 

\---

 

The interview was hell, and made you feel stupid.

It was all official, government-regulated business with government scientists thrown in with your current professors, and you could feel each and every one of their judgments as you told the actual story of the Underground.

The interviewer seemed annoyed to have to take you serious, and embarrassed to have to ask follow-up questions. (“The goat-lady thing ate snails?” “Yes.” “Never tried to eat you?” “No. She tried to mother me.” “Explain ‘mothering’.”) At least half the room didn’t believe you, you knew. You sure wouldn’t believe yourself had you not lived it for seven months.

At the end of the first interview - the first three hour long hell - you asked what would happen to the monsters when they were released.

“That’s above my paygrade,” the interviewer said.

You sighed.

 

\---

 

School started once more, and you kept your major in physics. All your electives were biology, though, and you took on an extra humanities credit in ancient history. Your advisor was not impressed. You would graduate in another two years, hopefully.

Every Wednesday night and weekend you helped with the Barrier research. It proved difficult, with your goal being taking the Barrier down and the government’s to just understand it.

Nobody went through the Barrier, even when you double-dog dared them too. You were lucky to stay on the team after that little stunt.

You reminded them, constantly, that you would happily go back down and get whatever books or information they needed.

 

\---

 

You woke up sore, surprised to see Zach still at your side. His face looked so much softer while he slept, pink lips slightly parted. His clear skin wrinkled just around his eyes, a couple worry lines running along his forehead. His bare arms bent in front of him, hands clasped against his chest as in prayer.

Your heart swelled, remembering the night before.

You wanted to cry.

 

\---

 

Undyne and Alphys’s frequent visits slowed down as months passed. Sans tried to stop thinking about you, but with your books still stacked on his nightstand, it proved to be an impossible task.

 

\---

 

Doctors had said that your frostbitten fingers and ears would just have to stay that way. The affected areas were too small to warrant surgery, and, well, you could still feel with your thumb tips and your right index finger. The tissue was completely dead in most of the other areas. The shell of your ear didn’t quite matter, really. Just… don’t get it pierced.

You shrugged it off, unconcerned. Zach hadn’t been too pleased when you explained it that evening.

“It’s just… weird,” he said.

“Yeah, well, weird’s the story of my life,” you retorted, disappointed in how stupid it sounded even to your own weird ears.

He sighed, and you slept on the couch that night.

 

\---

 

You stared at your tanned body in the mirror, awed at how far you’d come. You wondered how the monsters would change in the sunlight. Bruises on your arms, a motley of browns, purples and yellows, marred the sight, but you chose not to worry about it. A hickey on your neck reminded you that Zach loved you.

 

\---

 

Sans cried at the four month mark. He wondered how your college was going for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like i was out of state  
> for a while  
> and then i just forgot for a couple days  
> but hey! update now
> 
> reader doesn't like swearing but nobody else has those same reserves lolol


	5. Care

Winter break, five months since your return, a year since you first fell, you walked back through the Barrier and nearly gave Asgore a heart attack. You looked so different from when he last saw you - fuller, tanner, with shorter, lighter hair.

You grinned at him and slid your backpack off your shoulders.

“I got a letter for you from the human government,” you stated, and pulled out a yellow envelope at least three inches thick. “Also, if you don’t mind, I was given a camera. An official one, since nobody gave a crap about my phone pictures. Well, some people did, but not many. I’m gonna need you to say ‘cheese!’”

You took pictures of everything. His garden, the golden hall, the Core, Hotland, Waterfall, Tsunderplane, Vulkin, Madjick, the Nice Cream man, Alphys’ home, Alphys’ lab, the Wishing Room, Onionsan, Snowdin, Grillby’s, Papyrus, Undyne, and, of course, the door to the Ruins, where you still couldn’t go.

Sans froze when he first saw you, so you, of course, laughed at him and pulled out the book you got him on space and chucked it at his head. He didn’t flinch, didn’t move, didn’t twitch as it fell on the ground in front of him. You huffed, indignant.

“Hey, bonehead, I bought that for you. Cost good money. Like, take care of it, dude!”

And suddenly you were wrapped up in a skeletal embrace. Not the weirdest thing you’d ever experienced, but still very much up there.

“Buddy, hey, you alright?” you asked, awkwardly patting his back. “I know it’s cold down here, but there’s no reason to freeze up like this.”

Sans suddenly let go as if burned. “why’re you here?”

You grinned and showed him the camera. “I got an official job!”

“...what?”

“Well, okay, not like that. An official job on the research team working on the Barrier. All those old fogies are a bunch of wimps when it comes to actually going anywhere alone, but they wanted better evidence than my phone pictures that this all was actually a thing, so… Here I am! Photographic evidence! Heck, they may even hook me up with a videocamera next! Oh, by the way, say cheese!”

You didn’t give him the chance to get his act together before snapping his picture.

“how long you stayin?”

You shrugged. “Gotta be back tomorrow mornin’. Not here long, buddy. Sorry.”

“of course.”

“Yeah, but, like, I got you presents! Well, everyone. Well, everyone’s gotten their stuff save you and Toriel, but Toriel’s not answering the door, so, like, whatever. I was actually just planning on dumping her stuff with you. But, I got this TV series on space for you - it’s called Cosmos! Super cool. Loved it as a kid. Then there’s a more recent quantum physics book, written by my professor’s friend, and I think it may answer some of your questions, and obviously the book on space I chucked at you, and, like, okay, this one’s a bit weird but I went to the farmer’s market with Tyler the other day because he’s a hippie and they had homemade ketchup, and well, he wouldn’t let me leave without buying some of his overpriced hippie stuff, so I figured I’d just get this and give it to you, and… Oh Sans, don’t  _ space _ out on me now.”

Sans stared for another moment before smiling and shaking his head. “i missed ya, kid.”

“You know, I’m upset. I come all the way down here and I haven’t heard a single pun from you.”

Sans merely shook his head. “a bit shocked right now.”

“What, I told you I’d come back, didn’t I? We’re making progress on the Barrier, okay?”

“yeah. i… yeah, that’s… that’s great. that’s fantastic.”

“Yeah! I know! I mean, political stuff isn’t going too hot, but once there’s more evidence showing our government  _ should _ be caring, things’ll probably start happening. Okay, well I’ll see you later. I got more things to photograph.”

“uh, w-wait. i got a question.”

“Fire away.”

Sans stared at the ceiling. “why are your fingers and ears black?”

You laughed again. He liked that sound. “Seriously, dude? After all this time?”

“yeah.”

“Frostbite. From when I first left the Ruins. Doctors don’t want to try and fix it since it hasn’t affected too much of me, y’know? I just can’t feel with some of my fingertips and my ears.”

“alright. i  _ hear _ ya.”

“Thank goodness. One pun before I go. Well, see ya later Sansy.”

He blushed as your back turned and you walked up towards the Riverman.

 

\---

 

“SANS! SANS, THE HUMAN IS HERE!”

“be there in a sec!”

You stood in the doorway, cheeks flushed, smile perfect.

“Heya Sansy,” you said, kicking off your boots. “Can’t stay up too late tonight since I gotta get back kinda early tomorrow, but like, we got quite a bit to talk about, don’t we?”

Sans grinned, forcing himself to appear casual as he flopped on the couch. “‘course, kid. c’mon, let’s hear what’s been going on with the surface.”

You took the cushion farthest from him and stretched your legs. “Well, I know it’s been a while. Longer than I wanted, to be honest. I had to go and move back into my, uh, my boyfriend’s apartment, and re-enroll in college, go get some paperwork taken care of, local news wanted to interview me, crap like that. But I eventually dragged my professors up the mountain, and long story short, my government got off its butt and now we have a research team working on the Barrier.”

Sans smiled, flipping through the channels. “you’re a real miracle worker, kid.”

“Yeah! We’ve made a  _ ton _ of progress actually. Okay, not actually. But like, the researchers finally agreed I could come back down to take pictures! It’s great! We don’t understand the magic at all, since that’s all, like, ancient beyond ancient. Some historians are trying to look into it while we’ve been using every machine known to man to try and figure out how it works.”

“so you can take it down?”

“Yeah!” You paused. “Well, also, okay. Not my decision. But also… This will be our only chance to study it while it’s still here. So…”

“so?”

“They’re kinda taking their time with it. They want to understand what’s going on before they destroy anything.”

Sans forced his smile to stay. “really.”

“Yeah. I’ve tried talking them around it, but most still don’t actually believe you guys exist. I think  _ this _ ,” you tapped the camera, “will help. And there’s, like, a ton of legal stuff to be taken care of, too.”

Sans nodded once. “sounds like you’ve got a pretty good  _ shot _ at saving us, actually. i can  _ picture _ it now,” he joked, earning a snort from you.

“You betcha, Sansy. Oh, and, like, okay. You would not  _ believe _ Asgore’s reaction when I walked back in.”

Sans felt his mood lift more and more as you recounted your tale, talking yourself to sleep.

 

\---

 

You sat through the Senate meeting wondering if it would be rude to kill yourself then and there.  Next to you, Zach’s chair sat empty. He hadn’t been able to make it, of course.

You wondered why you wasted the spot on him. You could’ve brought Ava. Jeremy and Lucy giggled behind you, also not paying attention.

Man, out of all the things you studied, you were glad you never once made the mistake of considering politics.

Minutes drug into hours drug into days, and finally, with at least five completely irrelevant things tacked onto it, the Senate decided that the Barrier should be taken down. You didn’t even have the energy to feel elated, much less pissed that monster citizenship should’ve been discussed as well.

Any semblance you had of happiness was crushed into smithereens when Hugill reminded you that the House still needed to approve it.

 

\---

 

You brought some official looking dude in a suit and one of the researchers down to the Underground on your next visit. Asgore had been delighted and disappointed.

“Not red,” were the first words he muttered. Your mind flashed back to the first time you saw him. “Not red,” he’d said.

Whatever.

Samples were taken from everywhere. Sans had joined the party as soon as he saw you, answering whatever questions he could. You tried not to feel jealous that these two old-ass men got better treatment off the bat from Sans than you did.

Then again, Sans actually thought these people could break the Barrier. That thought didn’t make you feel any better, either.

You opted to stay with the skelebros rather than hole up in Snowed Inn with your companions.

 

\---

 

Sans studied your sleeping form, slumped over his couch. Your visits had been growing more and more frequent, with different people following you down each time. You seemed frustrated with them more often than not, and Sans picked up on another one of your habits - silent when angry.

You always spent the night with him and Papyrus, though, and took the time to talk to each of the brothers. Sans appreciated that more than was probably appropriate.

You still had a boyfriend, he noted. You refused to speak a word of him.

Everyone else you would drone on about. Lucy, the angry, swearing botanist. Jeremy, her quiet, thoughtful geologist boyfriend. Tyler, another geologist, the most social introvert you’d ever met. Your professors. Your sister, Ava.

Your parents seemed to be another subject that stayed firmly off the table for discussion. As much as you adored Ava, so prim and proper, your displeasure with your parents was made apparent at even the slightest mention of your mom or dad.

You had been visiting for three months now. With each visit, the Underground changed. Never had so many humans come in before. Never had so many  _ old _ humans come anywhere close. Nobody had even known it was  _ possible _ .

Monsters gossiped. Rumors spread like wildfire. The human government was planning on exterminating everyone, once and for all. The humans were going to sacrifice an infant child to break the Barrier. The Barrier would be reinforced, and nobody would ever see a human again.

You told Sans that the Barrier’s fate was under discussion in the government. The bill requiring its destruction had been rewritten four times now. Activist groups on both sides were rapidly developing, much to your annoyance. Nobody had even  _ met _ the monsters.

You looked a bit older, a bit more tired, each time he saw you, but no less determined.

“They’ll come around,” you promised, eyes shutting.

And now there you laid, figure half-sunk into the couch, face too small under the piles of blankets and responsibilities.

Sans brushed his fingers through your hair and thought.

 

\---

 

You groaned over your fluid dynamics homework, listening to Zach cook in the kitchen. The smell of alfredo sauce kept you awake as you toiled away.

You were only taking two classes this term, spending most of your time up on the mountain with the research team. You knew you were so close to breaking the Barrier - so,  _ so _ close. Your homework felt pointless compared to the breakthrough about to be made.

“Darlin’, dinner’s ready!” Zach called, and you grinned at the pet name as you abandoned your textbook to go sit at the tiny kitchen table.

“Thanks, Zach,” you said gratefully, piling pasta onto your plate before drowning it in sauce.

“Yeah. It was your night to cook, by the way,” he reminded you, sitting across the table. You frowned, guilt prickling.

“Oh.”

“It’s fine tonight, though. I got all my homework done earlier.”

“Yeah, I was just… busy.”

“You’ve been spending so much time up on that mountain, I’ve barely seen you since,” he teased. “It’s like the incident all over again.”

You nodded. “Sorry.”

 

\---

 

“Do you want to see the Underground?” you asked, trying to push Zach’s roaming hands off your chest.

“This isn’t the best time to discuss this,” he muttered, grinding his hips down on you.

“You didn’t want to talk earlier,” you argued, shoving yourself into an upright position. “C’mon. Do you want to see it? I can take you the next time I go back down.”

“The only thing I want you to go down on right now is me, darlin’,” he snapped, forcing you back underneath him. “I don’t care about your little science project.”

“ _ Zach _ . It’s not just a science project. And, s-stop! I’m not in the mood for this!”

Zach shook his head. “You were gone for seven months, and now you keep disappearing for days at a time. You owe me. We got a lot of catching up to do.”

 

\---

 

Sans woke up to find you crying at his kitchen table, arms wrapped around your head, dressed in just a tank top and shorts. He tried to keep his eyes from roaming over your exposed skin as he gingerly took a seat across from you.

“what’s the matter?” he asked quietly. “something with the barrier?”

You shook your head. “Bill finally passed the Senate and House. Waiting for president’s approval,” you choked out, sniffling. “Uh, do you have a tissue?”

Sans nodded and left to go grab some, but by the time he returned, you were gone.

 

\---

 

You high fived Jeremy with a whoop.

“We did it,” he muttered, eyes shining.

“Of course we did!” you shouted, feeling energy rush through you. You weren’t sure what to do with all of it - dance, sprint, scream. “They’re gonna be free! They’re gonna finally be free!”

The elder professors watched you with fondness, a couple shaking their heads.

“We still have to take the actual Barrier down,” one of them, Kane, reminded you. You rolled your eyes.

“But we can do it now,” you retorted. “Hold on, I gotta go tell Asgore. We’ll pick a date and contact the news crews. Holy crap, I can’t believe we actually…”

“You should be proud of yourself,” Hugill said, resting a hand on your shoulder. “You caused all of this.” He nodded towards the machine.

Soul research had boomed with the recent discoveries. An entirely new field of study had cracked open, you at the forefront. While your current understanding remained pitifully small, you knew it would expand, especially once Alphys returned.

She had played a huge role in developing the machine, and it was her old notes that taught you that you didn’t  _ have _ to do it Asgore’s bloody way. With enough Determination and passion, any large group of humans could summon the power to shatter the Barrier from the outside. The machine would simply direct the energy and knock out the millenia old structure.

Then they’d be free.

You called Zach that evening. He didn’t answer.

 

\---

 

You found yourself flocked with news channels vying for a chance to interview you. The Barrier would fall in two days, and you were barely passing your quantum class at the moment. You opened your mouth, prepared to reject the fourth company to call -  _ how’d they get your number, anyways? - _ when they mentioned the paycheck.

You found yourself on television the next morning telling your life story. They asked about your relationship status, to which you shrugged, hoping Zach wasn’t watching.

He never brought it up, and some part of you felt disappointed he hadn’t seen it.

 

\---

 

You stood with them as the Barrier fell. Well, not with. In front of them.

You didn’t want to. You wanted to be in the back, but Toriel had insisted, meaning Asgore was almost too quick to agree, and before long everyone was pushing you to stand face to face with the door to their cage. The flowers felt too soft under your feet, the room too dim, and the Barrier too bright.

Zach was at work. You gently touched your bruised wrist, remembering the past weekend. You hadn’t seen him since.

Your mind wandered back to the present. It was finally happening. Your friends would be free.

“”THREE!”

You wondered what Papyrus’s face would look like in the sunlight. What Sans’s would.

“TWO!”

You wondered if Zach would like them.

“ONE!”

The Barrier shattered like glass, a loud, clear ring booming out over the crowds amassed on either side. You stood still as monsters charged forwards, hooting and hollering. You felt Undyne’s scaly hand grab your own and drag you out into the sun, and a quick glance over your shoulder showed Asgore and Toriel majestically striding forwards, elation barely hidden behind their politically cool masks.

Undyne whooped and spun you in a circle before dropping you in favor of Alphys. You fell flat on your back, dazed for more than one reason, but when your eyes focused, Sans’s face was there, his grin wider than you’d ever seen.

He looked nice in the sunlight, you thought. More alive. Your ears buzzed with the screams and hoots of the crowds, your eyes blurred with the flash of cameras and light of the sun.

Sans steadied you, bony fingers softly digging into your arms. You felt hot. Why were you wearing a long sleeved shirt again? His left hand shifted ever so slightly, suddenly squeezing a bruise. Oh right. You tried not to wince.

“we can see the stars tonight,” Sans said. “for real, this time. not in a book.”

It took you a moment to process his words, but when you did, you actually smiled. Genuinely smiled. “Yeah. Right here, we can stay up and watch them.”

Sans shook his head. “no, everyone’ll be here. no. show me a place. the best place to see them. alone. with you.”

You thought of Zach, your third date, before you ever fell down. The two of you had driven outside the city, down to some rest stop in the middle of nowhere, and laid out, far away from the lights of a city. 

Zach had been interested in other activities than stargazing, and the thrill of being outdoors where he could be caught only spurred him on. You’d brought all your star guides with you, just to have them sit in the car, untouched. The disappointment from that night nagged at  your heart.

You remembered the way there. Sans would appreciate it. You’d bring your star guides, and this time, you’d actually use them.

“Yeah, ‘course.”

You pretended, for Sans’s sake, that you didn’t notice the elated tears streaming down his face as he hugged you.

Not long after, Papyrus threw you over his shoulder, face stained orange with his own tears. News stations from all over the world swarmed, interviewing every monster in sight. You grinned at the sight of Mettaton, soaking up all the attention, Burgerpants sneaking away from him at the first given opportunity.

Alphys spoke heatedly, Undyne at her tail, with some of the researchers she’d met before. She didn’t even look like she was stammering. She looked warmer, happier, kinder, out under the open sky.

Papyrus was, well, shouting of course, and eventually set you down in front of him for an interview with the local news station. You half-heartedly answered their questions, hating yourself for feeling so distant.

Today should’ve been happy. The happiest of your life, maybe.

But all you could think about was the bruise on your arm and Zach’s face the next morning when he would find out you weren’t home on time.

 

\---

 

You sat in your apartment, alone, the news channel playing clips of the Barrier shattering, the monsters dancing, and wondered what Zach would think. Minutes ticked by, too slowly.

You threw on your coat and walked out of your apartment and down to your car and drove.

 

\---

 

You made it to the rest stop, and showed Sans up the trail. Papyrus was elsewhere. You wanted to ask  _ where _ , but couldn’t find the motivation to.

You laid out a blanket and flopped down on top of it. Sans did the same.

“Sun will set in about four minutes,” you informed him, studying the pinks and oranges of the clouds.

Sans nodded, speechless as he stared at the sky.

The sun disappeared beyond the horizon, taking the last warm colors with it. The world slowly blackened, with deep indigos and dark purples reaching up to the world above. One by one, little lights flickered into sight as if suspended, and the enormity of it took your breath away.

You felt so small next to Sans, so insignificant, a speck on a speck in this eternal world.

Next to you, Sans’s mind reeled, empty and full, eyes eating up the view, face blushing blue.

You considered that day, the Barrier breaking, its magical pieces dissolving into the air, the machine whirring still as you stepped out. You had seen faces of awe, of disgust, of love in the crowds, all while the monsters celebrated in absolute bliss.

And still, above you the heavens glowed, perhaps uncaring. You wondered if what you did mattered.

You felt Sans’s fingers slide into yours, and decided you didn’t care. It mattered to you, and to him, and to all of the monster race, and if that’s all you ever got, then that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I am so sorry for not updating this. Thank you so much to those of you who commented - each one I read and appreciated so much, and they're mostly the reason I came back rather than let this sit here and rot. When I last left this, I had six and a half chapters done, so there'll be another after this after I finish proof-reading it.
> 
> I know the story's moving rather fast. I'm still learning and improving, and I hope in the future my stories will be a bit better put together.
> 
> I'm so glad some of you have been enjoying this though! Thank you again, and I hope to get more updates in over the next few months.


	6. Of Course

Lucy had seen you walk out in a long-sleeved shirt and jeans and immediately shoved you back into your apartment.

“No. No, no,  _ no. _ It is eighty-seven degrees out, you hear me? Eight-seven! You’re gonna fucking put on some goddamn appropriate clothes or I will shank you myself.”

You obliged, but not without smearing concealer up and down over your bruises first. It looked a little suspicious, sure, but nobody would be looking too closely. You offered yourself a smile in the mirror before heading out, Lucy chattering all the way down to her car and to the park.

She was right about the weather. You felt the sun beat down on your skin as soon as you stepped out onto the perfectly manicured lawn, and all around you parents were smearing sunscreen onto their kids, grappling to escape and get to their friends on the playground. The dock sticking out into the lake was filled with people just dangling their feet in, a park officer monitoring them nearby leaning on the “No Swimming” sign. Ducks quacked, and geese snoozed. The sight made you smile.

You and Lucy rolled out the picnic blanket underneath an old willow tree and set about sorting out the food. Sans, Papyrus, Alphys and Undy would show up at any minute now.

Lucy was excited. She hadn’t seen any of them since the Barrier had fallen, and had no opportunity to talk. She wanted to meet them so badly since you started finally opening up to her about your experiences.

“They just sound so  _ nice! _ And cool as fuck!” had been her mantra for the past week. You couldn’t exactly argue with that, so you promised to set up something for all of them.

And now here the two of you were, sitting side by side on a picnic blanket, waiting for monsters and watching the ducks. You smiled, leaning back and resting on your elbows.

“LOOK! IT IS THE HUMAN AND THEIR FRIEND! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SPOTTED THEM FIRST!”

The peace shattered, and suddenly you found yourself surrounded by your four oddest friends. Lucy beamed.

“Hi!” she said, immediately hopping two her feet. “I’m, Lucy, her best friend. She told me so much about you guys!”

“S-she had a lot to share about you, a-as well,” Alphys said, already beet red.

“Of course she did!” Lucy sang. “We’ve been through, like, so much. But of course, I didn’t get to be there for her little adventure through a secret world, so like, we might be even. Here, sit. We made sandwiches.”

Sans grinned as he sat next to you. “how’s it goin’, kid?” he asked quietly, reaching for the mayonnaise.

“Good,” you said. “Busy.”

“college, right?”

You shrugged. “Well, yeah, but also I’ve been signed onto another research team. The opening of the Underground has given humanity a number of questions that need answering, and, well, having lived down there for seven months, I kinda get my pick. Right now we’re working on, like, plant life and stuff Underground.”

Sans nodded. “first questions you asked.”

“Yeah! Another group that I won’t be, like, working  _ for _ but still kinda working with is researching how the Barrier went up in the first place and human magic and all that, and also right now there’s a group looking for monster volunteers so we can begin figuring out monster anatomy.”

“And Asgore and our… ah,  _ embarrassment _ of a president are working out monster rights,” Lucy added. “Sure, he’s a racist sack of shit and doesn’t know what the fuck to do, but at least the other politicians are listening. The rest of the world breathing down our neck on this kinda helps too.”

“yeah, i’ve been hearin’ all about that. news  _ spreads _ pretty fast up here,” he joked, taking a swig of the mayonnaise. Lucy, amazingly, did not make a face at it. “rumor is we may get to move outta the monster community soon?”

“Hopefully,” you agreed. The buildings thrown up right at Mt. Ebott’s base for the monsters weren’t  _ bad _ , having received some pretty nice corporate sponsorships and donations from activist groups, but they definitely weren’t long-term living.

“IT TAKES SO LONG FOR THE HUMAN GOVERNMENT TO DECIDE ON THINGS,” Papyrus lamented.

“Yeah, it does. That’s supposed to be part of the point or something,” Lucy said, shrugging. “I don’t know. I sucked at history.” You two fist bumped.

“Science for the win,” you muttered.

“OH, ALSO, HUMAN. WHEN WILL WE GET TO SEE YOUR HOME? YOU HAVE SEEN ALL OF OURS. I WAS HOPING WE COULD COOK TOGETHER THERE SOMETIME.” The atmosphere suddenly took a turn for the worse. You grimaced.

You looked to Lucy for help, but she pointedly turned away.

“Uh, maybe some time?” you offered meekly. “It’s, like, um… It’s not really mine.”

“It  _ was _ ,” Lucy snapped. “And you still  _ pay rent _ .”

“Yeah, but…”

“Did someone steal your home?” Undyne demanded, suddenly invested in the conversation. “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

Lucy said “yes” at the same time you said “no.”

“I just, ah, live with my boyfriend,” you quickly explained. “And I mean yeah we both pay rent, but, um, since I was gone for so long, he kinda views the place as his, and um, I like, pay my rent to him since the lease is now just under his name, and-”

“IT’S JUST UNDER THAT DICKWAD’S NAME?” now Lucy was yelling.

“Lucy, calm down, we can discuss this later.”

“ _ WHAT? _ ”

“LUCY.”

Her mouth hung upon, indignant rage all over her face.

“You wanted to meet my friends,” you gently reminded her. “We can talk later. Just enjoy the lunch.”

Lucy shook her head at you. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” And the subject dropped, an uncomfortable silence in its wake.

It didn’t take long to break it though, with Papyrus’s undiminishable positive attitude and Undyne’s boundless energy. You felt yourself forget about the current difficulties at home as you tossed a frisbee back and forth with your friends, until Undyne shot it out to the middle of the lake. It took all five of the rest of you to stop her from jumping in after it.

You fed grapes to the ducks, much to Papyrus’s excitement. You ignored the few parents directing their kids away from your area, and the downright evil glares shot your way, instead relishing the tall skeleton’s excitement.

Sans never left your side until the picnic ended, you noticed, and as you packed the last salad container away, you found yourself alone with him. Lucy had left for the bathroom somewhere, Papyrus was still feeding the ducks, and Alphys and Undyne left an hour ago.

“What’s up?” you asked, folding the blanket.

“why’re you so weird talking about your boyfriend?”

You shrugged. “It’s just a, uh, difficult subject?”

“lucy doesn’t have a problem talking about hers. is this just a problem you’re having?”

You picked at a loose thread in the blanket before wiping the sweat beading on your forehead off with your arm. Jeez, it was  _ hot _ out.

“Yeah. It’s complicated.”

“why?”

“It… just is.”

Sans kneeled in front of you. “is it an ‘i don’t want to talk about it’ complicated or an ‘it’s actually a convoluted mess that’s impossible to explain to someone’ complicated?” he demanded quietly.

You frowned. “Maybe the former?”

“what’s going on?”

Your eyes fell to your arm, now damp from sweat. Some of the concealer had washed off, revealing purple underneath. You sighed and adjusted it so Sans couldn’t see.

“I dunno. I’ve never, uh, been too great with, like, romance and stuff. I’ve always been, like, kinda oblivious and all that? It took me a while to realize Zach even like, you know, liked me and all that, and, just… Coming back has been difficult.” You stared at your lap. “I mean, everything’s fine.”

“lucy doesn’t seem to think so.”

“I know. She’s told me.”

“will you introduce me to your boyfriend? i’d like to meet him.”

“...I’m not sure he would like that.” You didn’t have to be looking at Sans to notice him stiffen.

“really now.”

You stayed quiet.

“his girlfriend is the saviour of monsterkind, and he’s a goddamned racist.”

“No-o,” you stammered. “I… I wouldn’t say that about me. Or him.”

Sans let out a frustrated sigh. “kid, you’re killin’ me here. why wouldn’t he like to meet me? or any of us?”

“W-well, if it’d make you feel better I’ll ask hi-”

“that’s not what i asked.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on the sound of kids shouting in the distance as they spun around on the playground equipment. It was such a nice day. You had so much to get done tonight. Why did you have to discuss this now?

“I don’t know.”

“you don’t know.”

“Yeah.”

“let me take you home.”

“No.”

“why?”

“I can go myself.”

“i know that. i want to see your home.”

“You’re being rather pushy.”

“you’re being rather touchy.”

“Sans, it’s just difficult, okay?”

“what’s difficult?”

“Yeah,  _ what’s _ difficult?” Lucy glared down at you, hair alight in the sun. Oh no.

“You  _ know _ what’s difficult,” you snapped at her.

“The only difficult thing here is you! Just leave the fucking dick! Seriously! You can live with me for a while!”

“i’m still out of the loop,” Sans informed her, gaze shifting from you momentarily. Lucy examined him for a moment, gears ticking in her head.

“Our dear friend here is living with a goddamned shitbag who treats her and her friends like complete trash and threw out all her belongings while she went missing, and is now manipulating her so he can fucking dump her anyways without a problem until he finds some new fuck,” Lucy spat. “Zach Devoye is an emotionally abusive piece of work that has been ruining her life for a long goddamned time. Why’d you want to go on that little backpacking trip again, at the start of this whole thing? What were your words again?”

You flinched, trying to resist the urge to scratch your arm. “Lucy, there are kids around. Calm down.”

Sans’s eyes bore into you.

“Tell him. Tell him what you told me that night.”

“Lucy.”

“No. These people actually care about you. That much is  _ obvious _ . I mean, I’m not gonna lie, sorry Sans, but I had my goddamn fucking  _ doubts _ when she started talking about you guys. Monsters. So kind. So sweet. So caring. Because I heard those same adjectives used on someone else who turned out to be a literal  _ demon _ . No offense again Sans, but I think you have a problem when these literal  _ monsters _ are about a million times better than Zach.”

You stared up, not directly at the sun, until your tears disappeared. “Lucy, please. Can we do this somewhere else?”

“Sure. Let’s do this at Zach’s little apartment, then.”

 

\---

 

Papyrus left for his job - he was a coffee barista now at a local place - and Sans followed you and Lucy to her car.

Sans had his suspicions for quite a while that something was wrong with your relationship. It took him a while to be sure, wondering if he just was… well, he still wouldn’t say it. You were fidgeting, arms crossed tightly over your chest, refusing to look at anything. That level of dejection didn’t fit you, he thought.

The car was rather unimpressive. A small, slim green thing, its rear end proudly displayed little dents in the corners, the back window housing the scraped-off remains of stickers. Sans quickly discovered, stepping into the backseat, that it hadn’t been cleaned in quite a while. The stench was bearable, though.

“He’s not abusive,” you said partway through the car ride. Lucy raised her eyebrows. “I told you before. I would never date someone who’s abusive.”

“Of course,” she said, unconvinced.

Sans remained quiet, gaze fixed outside, countless questions drifting through his mind.

When Sans spent his nights laying awake in the Wishing Room, thoughts about you swarming his mind, ideas forming about what your surface life may be like, he never,  _ ever _ pictured a place like this as your home.

Militarily neat and clean, a bookshelf in the corner housed more pictures and trinkets than books. The walls were all strange colors, the couch was too stiff, and Sans couldn’t recognize anyone in the sparse pictures. You kicked off your shoes at the entrance, not even caring when one landed next to the TV. You plopped down on the couch and nodded him and Lucy over.

He decided he liked your friend. She was tough, angry, and not afraid of putting you in your place. She was still scowling when she claimed the recliner next to you. Sans sat next to you.

You sat in silence for a moment, uncomfortably recrossing your arms.

“So, uh, I live here,” you said dumbly.

“really? i wouldn’t have guessed.”

“I thought you didn’t do sarcasm.”

“it wasn’t sarcastic, kid.”

You blinked at him, before owlishly looking around the apartment as if seeing it for the first time.

“Huh.”

Lucy’s scowl deepened. “Huh,” she agreed. “Wanna tell Sans what you told me now? Before you left? Sure he’ll love to hear about it.”

Your gaze dropped to your lap. “Yeah. Okay.”

Silence.

“still waitin’, kid.”

“I know. Um, alright. Tryna think of where to start.”

“We were going on a backpacking trip,” Lucy supplied helpfully.

“Yeah. So, like, we had this whole trip planned on Mt. Ebott. Me, Jeremy, Lucy and Tyler. It was supposed to be warm there that winter break, or at least that’s what the weather reports said at first, and we kinda wanted to, like, get out somewhere secluded for a while and enjoy our lives, you know?” You looked at the bookshelf. “I told Zach what I was doing. He got pissed, really. We’d been fighting for the past week.”

“About what?” Lucy demanded. She already knew the answer, Sans figured.

“Um. He had. Um. Done something.”

“Gotta be more specific.”

“He, kind of, um… hekindofcheatedonme.”

“pardon?”

“Zach. He got drunk one night, and, um, he was at a frat party, and there was… he cheated on me.” Your eyes wrenched shut.

“What else were you fighting about?” Lucy asked.

“F-finances. He hadn’t paid the past two months of rent.”

Sans gaped.

“S-so, yeah. Zach didn’t want me to leave. He was pissed at me, for, I don’t even know. Not just accepting his mistakes, I guess. Like, I don’t know, okay? He was mad. I was mad. He told me not to go, so I told him to go off himself.” You took a deep breath.

“And what’d you tell me?” Lucy could’ve been a bit more merciful, in Sans’s opinion, but he wasn’t complaining.

“I thought he was gonna kill me.” You looked up at the ceiling, right at the light. “He had a, um, knife. In his hand. I had already packed, so I ran out with just my backpack and spent the night with Lucy. I, uh, told her that ‘I’m done living in fear of that sack of cra- shit, and he can’t stop me from leaving this time.’” You shuddered. “He called me, the next morning, and apologized. We made up, but I was already leaving on the trip. He said he’d wait for my return.”

Lucy’s face softened as you pulled your knees up to your chest.

“He threw out all of her stuff,” she said softly. “All of it. Didn’t even contact us to see if… if we’d want anything. To keep. And remember her.”

You nodded, shaking. “He loves me, though,” you said, voice cracking. “He-he missed me.”

Pity wasn’t a good look on Lucy, Sans noted.

“Oh, honey, there are other people who love you,” she muttered, standing up. “And we do a better job of it, too.” She gently grabbed your hands, prying them off your chest to hold them as she sat on the coffee table. “I know it’s difficult.” She ran a perfectly manicured nail up your forearm, then froze.

“Um,” she said smartly, twitching. You didn’t look up. “Um. Hey. Hey. Are these… are these  _ bruises? _ ”

You shook your head fiercely. Lucy glowered.

“Really? So if I push one, what’ll happen?” she demanded, squeezing your arm softly. You flinched. Lucy threw your arms into your lap and jumped to her feet. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?”

You folded your arms back in.

“I don’t date abusers,” you repeated numbly.

Lucy looked at you, then Sans, and back to you. “I’m sorry,” she said at last. “I… I need a moment.”

Sans watched you as she stormed out the door, slamming it behind her.

“hey.”

You shook your head.

“hey, hey kid. c’mere.” He pulled you into his lap and ran his fingers through your hair. “hey. it’s ok.”

You shook your head again, tears threatening to spill.

“i’m… sorry. we shouldn’ta pushed you like that. i’m sorry, kid. i just didn’t know. and i was so worried about you. something just didn’t seem right, and i just wanted you to be okay.”

“I’m not.”

“i know.”

“I didn’t even realize…”

You let out your first sob.

 

\---

 

You went out to dinner with Toriel the next weekend, not having truly talked to her still since first leaving the Ruins. Her presence filled you with warmth, her gentle smiles soothed your worries.

“My child. It has been far too long. We have much to discuss,” she whispered, kneeling down before you at your apartment door. You flung your arms around her neck, nodding.

“‘Course, Tori.”

The two of you stayed like that, just enjoying the moment, before straightening yourselves out and walking out into the day.

“I suppose I should start with an apology,” Toriel said softly, large paw wrapped around your hand. 

She looked beautiful in the sun, white fur shining in the light, regal as she walked down the street. You still couldn’t pinpoint quite how tall she was, but nonetheless she felt comforting and kind. Both of you studiously ignored the people awkwardly darting to the other side of the street.

“You came into my care, fully capable of standing on your own, and I tried to deny you that,” Toriel continued. “I had known for so long that the Ruins can hardly be enough to care for a child, let alone an adult with plans for their future. I cut you out further once you had left, and did not even see you until the Barrier came down. You are the saviour of my people, and I did not lend you my aid. I am sorry.”

You processed this for a moment as a car screeched to a halt at the stop sign next to you. A kid in the backseat pulled out their phone and snapped a couple pictures of you and Toriel before you shot them a warning glare. The car continued on a moment later.

The brief thought that laser vision would’ve stopped them flits through your mind before you re-focus.

“You did what you thought was right,” you said a moment later, squinting up at the tall monster. “You had seen kids come and go and die. You were just trying to protect me.”

“But you needed no protection, and I knew that.”

“Tori, I… I know what happened out there. I did almost get killed, multiple times.” And did die twice. “Asgore, um, okay so like, I’m not totally clear on this still?” You cursed yourself for ruining the mood. “Okay but like my Soul was the wrong color I think? But, like, if it  _ had _ been red, he would’ve killed me. You weren’t totally acting out of place or anything. It’s okay, Tori.”

Toriel sniffed, her other large paw reaching up to wipe at her eyes.

“You are too kind, my child,” she whispered. “Come now. I believe we are at the restaurant.”

You grinned as you walked in. It was a Greek place, owned by an older couple, and it used to be your favorite before you first fell down. You hadn’t stepped foot inside in years. You inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of grape leaves and gyro meat, before guiding Toriel to your favorite seat - the one next to a window where if you looked at just the right angle, you could spot Mt. Ebott past the buildings of the shopping district.

The waitress came by a moment later and sneered at Toriel, which she dutifully ignored, and marched off before a younger waiter took her place. He looked like he was trying not to panic at the sight of the large, kindly monster.

“U-uh, what can I get for you guys to drink?” he asked, voice cracking.

“Water is fine, child,” Toriel said gently.

“Yeah, like, same for me. Just don’t wet yourself,” you said, rolling your eyes. The kid squeaked and ran off. You groaned.

“People suck,” you stated, running your hands through your hair. It was getting too long, almost touching your shoulders. “Man, you’re like, the  _ least _ scary monster I’ve even seen, too, except maybe, like, I dunno, a Vulkin or something? I mean you’re so soft and fuzzy! What’s his problem?”

Toriel studied you, an amused smile flitting across her features. “I am different, child. You humans have always struggled with that. Monsters, too. He most likely has never seen a creature as large as me. At least he is not downright rude.”

You shook your head. “We all worked so hard to free you guys, and this is how you’re treated now.”

“Give it time, my child. I have other things I must discuss with you.”

“Like?”

“Your current… relationship situation.” She smiled guiltily. You sighed.

“Who told you?”

“Sans.”

“Of course. And what’d he say?”

“That you were, ah, being abused, my child, and needed to find somewhere else to live,” she said.

You stared at the menu sitting flat on the table. “Uh-huh.”

“Is that true?”

“Ah, no. I don’t date abusers. Zach, um, well… He cares about me. Sometimes he just doesn’t always do a great job of showing it.” You resisted the urge to rub your bruised arm.

Toriel studied you carefully, and you ignored the pity in her eyes. “Actions speak louder than words,” she said at last. The waiter spared you from having to respond, and, after you ordered, you tried to change the subject.

“How has the monster citizenship discussion been going? I haven’t been keeping up with the news much.”

Toriel shook her head. “It is going. But right now, we are discussing you.”

“Not much to discuss.”

“You need somewhere else to live.”

“Where I’m at is fine, Tori.”

She sighed and her warm breath tingled against your face. “No, it is not. Your current boyfriend is abusing you, whether or not you realize it.”

Your expression hardened. “I think I would know my situation best.”

“I think you are blinded by what you want to be true and accustomed to being treated poorly. Let me see your arm.” You winced, lifting your right arm onto the table. She gently pushed up your sleeve, revealing the blue and purple skin. “Are these the marks of someone who cares for you?”

“H-he didn’t mean to,” you stammered.

“But he did, again and again. Can you really believe him?”

You stared out the window, eyes resting on Mt. Ebott. “This is my choice.”

“It is a poor one. You are too smart for this.”

“I’m scared of being alone.”

Toriel gently grabbed your hand. “You will not be alone. You have so,  _ so _ many people who love and care about you.”

“I want a family one day.”

“You are young; you have time. And would you really want to have a family with him?”

You took a shaky breath. “I suppose not.”

Toriel smiled. “Will you leave him, then?”

“I…” You gulped. “I have been with him for… for  _ years _ now, Tori. I don’t… I don’t know if I can. Where would I go? What would I do?”

“Do you not have family you can live with?”

“Uh…” You thought back on your parents for an instant before dropping the notion. Your sister already was living with three roommates in a different state, which left out any family options. “Uh, I mean, not really. They’re all kinda far.”

Toriel smiled a bit. “I have an extra bedroom in my house in the monster community. It can do for now, until we are given the rights to own property elsewhere.”

“Okay. I need some time to think on this.”

“Of course, my child.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm out of town starting tomorrow so wanted to make sure this went up beforehand. Chapter 7's also mostly complete, just need to proofread it. It'll likely be posted sometime next week once I'm back. Thank you all so much for your comments!

**Author's Note:**

> why am i writing this
> 
> WELL IF ANYONE WANTS TO BETA THIS THOUGH HIT ME THE HECK UP I HAVE SIX CHAPTERS OF SHIT TO SORT THROUGH THAT COME AFTER THIS AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX ANY OF THEM
> 
> and like, if you didn't totally hate this, comments and kudos help me find the motivation to stop watching bill wurtz videos and accomplish something instead
> 
> i have no idea how long this is gonna be. probably not as long as i want it to be. cries.


End file.
